Remember
by Icequeenie43
Summary: SLASH HPDM Its Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts and things are changing for him. All he wants to do is talk to Malfoy, but Malfoy still hates him. Will they be able to see that each other is exactly what they need? Rubbish summary! sorry!
1. The Beginning

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR! **

**This story with contain slash. I have officially warned you! **

Now…on with the story.

**Draco**

Draco let his eyes sweep the Great Hall, tuning out the usual welcome back speech Dumbledore was making and thinking about his summer. He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. _I'm at Hogwarts now _he thought to himself, _I don't have to do anything...yet_. His eyes rested on the Gryffindor table where the 'Golden Trio' was seated. He glared at the three of them. Always smiling and laughing, as if nothing ever bothered them. He looked at Harry and realised his smiles and laughter weren't real, yet forced. _When the hell did I start realising things like that?!_ He thought to himself and continued glaring at them until a head snapped up and looked straight at him. All he could see in those eyes were pain and suffering. His eyes widened in shock but quickly put his mask back on glaring at that boy that was staring at him as if he was the only one in the room. He felt someone poking his arm and calling his name and teared his eyes away from him and looked at Pansy.

"Draco darling, listen. This is important!" Pansy said, smiling sweetly at him.

He laughed. "Of course it is Pansy."

She punched him softly. "Well, maybe not that important. But will you stop glaring at Potter and his cronies and eat some food."

He nodded, picking up his fork and pushing the thoughts of Potter and his eyes to the back of his mind.

**Harry  
**

**  
**Harry listened to Dumbledore talking about House Unity, and how important it was in times like these. He shook his head "You need more than that" he muttered.

"What did you say mate?" Ron asked, his eyes widening in hunger when the plates were filled with his favourite foods.

"O nothing" He said, looking at the way his two best friends reacted with each other. He couldn't believe they still hadn't got their act together and asked each other out yet. He looked around at the people who had been with him at the ministry. _NO _he said to himself. _Don't think about it. Don't think about it. _He closed his eyes and looked up, right into the path of a death glare from Draco Malfoy. He looked at Malfoy and wondered

why instead of feeling hate towards the boy, all he wanted to do is go up to him and tell him his problems. He saw a look of surprise flitter across the boys face before it was gone again with his mask up again. He watched as Pansy got Malfoys attention and got him to laugh. _I want him to do that. I want him to be happy and relaxed around me. _Harry quickly looked down at his plate. _WHAT! _He screamed at himself. _Where the hell did that come from?! _He looked up again and saw that Malfoy was eating, looking every bit like the Slytherin Prince. He turned his gaze away and looked at Hermoine who was talking about her summer.

"Harry, how, how was yours? Was everything ok? I mean..."

He looked at hers, forcing a smile onto his face. "It was fine thanks."

"Are you sure? I'm here, if you want to talk." She said, smiling at him.

"Yeah, me two mate" Ron said, spraying food everywhere.

"Ronald, that is disgusting! For goodness sake, how many times have I told you not to talk with your mouthful?"

Ron rolled his eyes at Harry. Shaking his head. "Sound like my mother 'mione."

This time it was Hermione's time to roll her eyes. "And i'm sure, infact I know your mother doesn't tolerate you speaking with your mouthful. We are after all in our sixth year now. You really should learn some manners."

Ron laughed and shook his head. "O look, Mcgonagall is passing out this year's timetable."

Hermoine looked excited. "Isn't this so exciting? Especially after we did so well in our OWLs. Just imagine, NEWTs next year!"

Ron and Harry stared at her. "Are you kidding?! Let's get this year finished before we start thinking about NEXT year..." Ron said, staring at Harry in amazement.

Harry smiled and looked at the timetable he had just been given. "Got Care of Magical Creatures first"

"With the slytherins" Ron muttered darkly.

"O, i'm sure it won't be that bad." Hermoine said smiling. "Straight after that, i've got ancient runes!"

"I've got a free period. Do you mate?"

Harry nodded. His eyes looked over at the slytherin table and noticed that Malfoy had gotten up and was heading towards the doors. "I think i'm going to go to bed. I'm really tired. I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Ok Harry. Night."

"Night" Ron said smiling at him.

Harry got up and walked out of the Great Hall, just in time to see Malfoy disappearing around a corner. "Malfoy" He yelled. Walking towards him as he saw that he had stopped. _Why am I doing this? What am I going to say him? What am I DOING?! _He thought to himself.

"What do you want Potter?" Draco asked, narrowing his eyes at him.

"I just erm..." Harry stammered

"Can't talk Potter? What a shame" He turned to go.

"Wait!"

Draco turned around and glared at Potter. "I, unlike you Potter actually have something to do. So, what do you want?" He asked, sneering at the boy.

"I...I..." Harry stammered again, feeling himself go red.

"Right..." Malfoy said and turned, walking down the corridor.

"I don't know." Harry whispered to himself. Turning around and heading in the direction of the Gryffindor common room, cursing himself for making such an idiot out of himself.

**  
**

**Draco**

Draco walked through the Slytherin common room, nodding at people that smiled at him. He finally reached his dormitory and walked to his bed and sat down. He looked round. He had been safe here for the past 5 years. This was where he knew his father couldn't get to him. But things were different now, they were changing and Draco was finally beginning to see that no place was safe for him. He shook his head, not wanting to think about what was going to happen to him. He sat on his bed, looking straight ahead and an image of Harry Potter came into his head. _He's been acting weird recently. He doesn't look at me with hate, it's almost like he wants to actually talk to me…and if he wants to talk to me, then maybe I can talk to him? No. No, this is bloody perfect Potter. I wouldn't talk to him if he was the last person on earth. But…he's gotten away from HIM before, maybe he can help me? No, no-one can help me. There's nothing I can do. _He heard a knock on the door and shook is head, not wanting to think about becoming friends with Potter. "Not like it's ever gonna happen." He muttered to himself.

"Draco, it's me." Draco looked at the door, sighing. He walked over and opened it, plastering a small smile on his face.

"Hey Panse."

"Why'd you just go off? First day back! I would have thought you would have wanted to talk to everyone. See what happened to everyone over the summer… You know, if they heard anything."

Draco looked at her. "Panse, come on. I couldn't care less about that."

She sighed. "Fine." She walked towards his bed and sat down. "I missed you this summer. You didn't come round once." She looked at him, waiting to hear his excuse.

He shrugged. "I was…busy."

"Busy? All summer? Anyone else would have thought you were avoiding me."

"Course not. Just, my father wanted me round." He said, sitting down next to her.

Pansy looked at him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Draco shook his head. "No."

They sat in silence until Blaise came into the room. "Hey you two. Thought you two would be up here" He laughed, winking at them.

Pansy smiled at him. "We were just talking Blaise."

"Of course you were" He said smirking. "Just friends."

Draco stood up, glaring at him. "We are just friends Blaise."

Blaise looked at Draco in surprise. "I know, I was just kidding Draco."

Pansy stood up, putting a hand on Draco's shoulder. "Are you ok?"

Draco looked at her and then at Blaise. He forced himself to smile at them. "Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry. I guess I'm just tired." He turned round and lay back down on his bed. "I think I might go to sleep. Night." He pulled the drapes around the bed, changed quickly into his night stuff and got under the duvet.

Pansy and Blaise looked at each. Blaise raised an eyebrow at Pansy. Pansy shrugged in return. "Well, night then boys." She gave Blaise a kiss on the cheek and walked out; looking back Draco's pulled drapes and sighing.

**Harry**

Harry walked through the Gryffindor common room, smiling at those that waved at him. He carried on walking until he got to his dormitory where he lay on top of his bed and a single tear fell out of his eye. He turned onto his side, with his back towards the door. He faced the wall, images of his time with Sirius flashing through his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting more tears to come, especially as the others where likely to come up soon. He sat up and changed into his pajamas bottoms. He got into his bed, staring up at the ceiling; he heard the door opening and closed his eyes, not wanting to talk to anyone. He heard the 4 other boys walking in and changing for bed, whispering goodnight to each other. He listened as one by one they fell asleep and yet, he still couldn't. He pulled an old photo album out of his bedside drawer looking through it but for once it wouldn't give him any comfort seeing his parents smiling faces looking up at him. He got to the end of the album, with pictures of him, Ron and Hermione. The last one was of him and Sirius. He closed his eyes, hugging the album to his chest. He stood up, putting the album back into the drawer and as quietly as he could walked over to the window where he could look out over the Hogwarts grounds.

His thoughts strayed to Draco Malfoy. _I can't like him. I can't. I'm meant to hate him, as much as he hates me. But I don't. When did this happen? When did I stop hating him, and start liking him? _He shook his head. _Maybe I've never hated him. I just did, because I felt like I had to, because I was friends with Ron and Ron hated him. I've always thought about him. He's always on my mind. I get butterflies when he looks at me. I start to stutter…NO! No, I don't like Draco. Draco? When did it become Draco? I can't do this. Even IF I did like him, there is no way he would like me back. And, I can't let anyone else close, I'll hurt them. I can't hurt Draco. I can't let it happen. _He looked out of the window and closed his eyes, realizing that he was finally tired enough to go to sleep. He walked over to his bed and closed his eyes.

"HARRY! GET UP!" Harry turned over and opened his eyes slowly.

"Ron, stop hitting me with the pillow."

"THEN GET UP!"

"Stop shouting!"

"Seriously mate, you've got like, 20 minutes until lessons start."

"WHAT! Why didn't you wake me up?!" Harry asked, jumping out of bed and running into the bathroom.

"I tried. But you wouldn't wake up. I've been waiting for my breakfast."

Harry ran out of the bathroom, throwing on his school clothes. "Hermiones is going to kill us if we are late for our first lesson."

"I know. Why did you think I was shouting?" Ron asked, as they ran out of the common room, racing down to the great hall. "She doesn't look very happy…" Ron said, seeing Hermione sitting at the table, waiting for them.

Harry walked over to her, sitting next to her. "Sorry. Couldn't wake up." He said, smiling up at her.

She looked at him. "I didn't really expect anything else Harry. I saw how tired you looked yesterday."

He took a bite of his toast. "We've only got 5 minutes until we have to be there."

Hermione looked at him, knowing that he didn't want to talk about what was worrying him. She shook her head, wishing he would confide in her, or someone at least. "Yes. We should get moving. Come on Ron."

The three stood up and walked towards the doors, Harry dreading the upcoming lesson with the slytherins.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR!**

**This is my first HP story. So if I make mistakes, just tell me and I will correct them as soon as possible. If you have any ideas also tell me, and I will see if I can put them into the story! Now… read on**

**Draco**

Draco made his way to Care of Magical creatures with Crabbe and Goyle by his side and Pansy and Blaise walking behind him. He sighed; he was really getting annoyed with the constant presence of Crabbe and Goyle. He wasn't able to do anything on his own. He couldn't get the privacy he craved so much. He looked out towards Hagrid's Hut and saw the Gryffindors already there. He reached where everyone was standing and leant against a tree.

"Here comes Potter and his cronies." Blaise muttered, glaring towards Harry, Hermoine and Ron who were running towards them.

Draco looked over at them, his eyes resting on Harry. He thought again at how Harry had been acting around him yesterday and shook his head, not wanting to think about it, settling on a glare when he saw that Harry was looking towards him.

The class passed quickly for Draco who just stood talking with Pansy and Blaise while everyone else ran after a new creature Hagrid had told them to take care of. At the end of the lesson Draco and Pansy walked up to the castle, behind the other three.

"You know Draco" Pansy said, "I really need to get you together with someone."

Draco shot her a look. "Pansy. I don't want to be with anyone."

"Yes, but why? I mean, Draco. Look at yourself; you have most of the girls falling at your feet, and most probably half of the guys as well. You could have your pick of anyone and yet…You don't."

He looked at her and laughed. "Pansy, I do have my pick of everyone. You, of all people should know that."

She looked back at him and shook her head. "No Draco. You don't let yourself get close to anyone. I am the only person you truly talk to. The only person who you reveal your true emotions to. The others are all objects to you, and as soon as you get bored of them, which I might add is after about a week. You drop them. You need to find someone special. Someone who you can love with all of your heart or you will…"

"Or I will what Pansy?!" He asked, stopping suddenly. "You KNOW I can't let anyone get close to me. You know what will happen to them. They will become a shell of their former existence. They will be following me wherever I go. They will not have the freedom to do what they want to do. No-one should have to feel like that Pansy. No-one." He looked at her; letting her see his real emotions.

She looked into his eyes. They were filled with sadness, loneliness and defeat. She nodded at him. "I'm sorry Draco. I just don't want you to feel like this, there is always hope and after all you've always got me."

He looked back at her and nodded. "Yes. That is what my father wants. For me to marry you." He turned his eyes away from her and looked towards the castle. "I won't put you in any danger Pansy. I won't let you get hurt."

She smiled at him, her eyes filling with tears. "And that is why I will always love you Draco Malfoy." She linked her fingers through his, and the pair of them walked towards the castle. Draco fixing his mask back into place. Letting himself back into the role he must continue to be.

**Harry**

Harry, Ron and Hermoine ran towards Hagrid's hut where the rest of Gryffindors and Slytherins were standing. Harry's eyes flicked to where Draco was leaning against a tree but he quickly turned his eyes away when he realised Draco was glaring at him. He sighed deeply and stood next to Ron waiting for Hagrid to come out.

"You alright mate?" Ron asked looking at Harry.

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"Want to talk about it?"

Harry looked at Ron. "Nah, it's nothing big." Ron nodded and looked past Harry at Hermoine and this time it was him that sighed. "You know, you could just ask her out."

Ron went red and looked at Harry. "What…what…No, no. Don't know…"

Harry laughed. "Of course you don't know what I'm talking about Ron." He watched as Hagrid came out from behind the hut, holding around 10 small boxes that were shaking violently from side to side. "O no." he muttered.

Ron nodded his head slowly, looking at the boxes in terror.

The rest of the lesson passed in a blur for Harry as it was mostly spent with him chasing around the creatures that Hagrid had assured them would not harm them in anyway.

"I can't believe how fast those little buggers ran!" Ron said, as the three of them walked towards the castle.

Hermoine nodded. "I know. But did you see Malfoy? He was just standing there, leaning against the tree. He didn't do a thing, just stood there glaring at everyone. Expecting everyone to do his dirty work as usual"

"Lazy git." Ron muttered.

Harry stayed quiet and looked ahead, where he saw that Pansy and Malfoy had stopped suddenly and Malfoy seemed to be getting upset over something. They walked nearer and Harry saw the love in Pansy's eyes when she looked at him, and then them linking hands. _No!_ He screamed at himself. _No, he can't be with her. No, no!_

"Harry, are you ok? You keep shaking your head?" Hermoine asked softly.

He looked at her and blushed slightly. "I'm fine thanks. I'm going to go up to the common room. Have a good lesson."

"Harry wait…Where's he going in such a hurry?" Ron asked Hermione.

"I don't know. But something is different with him Ron. I think he needs to talk about Sirius…"

Ron looked at the ground. "Yeah. We just need to make sure we are there when he's ready to talk."

Hermoine looked at him with deep affection. "Yes. That's exactly what we will have to do" She said, smiling up at him.

**Authors Note: **

**Sorry if it is shorter than my last chapter. I will try and keep posting my chapters regulary, but I do apologise if I don't!**

**If you want to say anything about it, just review it :) you know you want to! **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR!**

**This is my first HP story. So if I make mistakes, just tell me and I will correct them as soon as possible. If you have any ideas also tell me, and I will see if I can put them into the story! Now… read on**

**Harry**

Harry rushed into Hogwarts leaving behind Ron and Hermione. "What is wrong with me?" He muttered to himself.

"Talking to yourself Potter?" Draco Malfoy drawled looking at him with a look that Harry couldn't quite read.

Harry turned red. "No"

"No?" Malfoy sneered. "So, standing in the middle of the hall, looking down at your feet and muttering, with no-one around you, isn't talking to yourself?" He raised an eyebrow at him. "Hit your head then Potter?"

"No, I didn't hit my head, thank you very much Malfoy." He looked away "At least I don't think I did…" He muttered to himself.

Draco looked at him weirdly. "Are you ok Potter? It's no fun tormenting a crazy person."

Harry looked back at Malfoy, wishing he could tell him everything. Everything that was bothering him, how he was feeling…_It's not like he would care. He HATES me. I'm meant to hate him. Why don't I hate him? _"Yes I'm fine." He said out loud. "And no, I didn't hit my head. Thank you for the concern Malfoy."

Draco glared at him. "Whatever Potter." He turned to walk away.

"Wait." Harry said, grabbing his arm. Draco and Harry both looked down at his arm. After a couple of seconds Harry withdrew his arm, already missing the sudden surge of warmth he had felt go through him when he touched Draco. "I'm sorry. I just…" He trailed off as he saw the look that Draco was giving him.

"Never touch me again Potter." He said, a dangerous tone to his voice. He gave one last look at Harry and walked off, wiping his arm as he went.

Harry watched him go. "What the hell just happened?" He muttered. _I have seriously got to stop making it look like I talk to myself…_He turned away from the direction in which Draco was walking and went towards the Gryffindor Common room. Once he got there he sat down in an armchair and stared into the fire. _Ok. So I obviously don't hate Malfoy. But when did it change? Did I ever hate him? I felt like I had…for Ron's sake. He was always there. Always. Maybe I crave his attention. Good or bad. _He shook his head. _But it is Draco Malfoy! _He shook his head again just as he saw Ron enter the common room and walk towards him.

"Hey Harry. You took off in a hurry. Everything ok?"

Harry smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. I just, you know needed to think some things through…" He trailed off, realizing he didn't want to tell Ron anything about what he had just been thinking about Malfoy.

Ron nodded sympathetically. "Yeah. Sirius was a great guy Harry. He didn't deserve to die" Harry blinked at him. "I mean, me and Hermione were just saying that we should wait for you to talk to us about him, and what happened. She reckons that once you have got it out of your system you will be ok. But we shouldn't force you. I agree with her."

Harry looked at him as if he was seeing him for the first time. "O, you agree do you Ron?" Ron nodded slowly, not sure where this was going to be heading. "So, you also agree that talking about me behind my back is ok?" He stood up and started walking up and down in front of Ron. "You know. Maybe I don't want to talk about Sirius with you two. Maybe, even if I did, things still wouldn't be ok. Maybe, I don't like my two supposedly best friends talking behind my back. But I guess, if YOU agree and think its ok then it MUST be. Oo, don't worry about Harry. Just let him get on with it, he will come to us when he's ready. Well guess what Ron, what if I'm never ready to talk about it? Are you just going to let me be, because it is what you think is best for me? Maybe I actually need my friends to care about me." he glared down at Ron and shook his head. "You know what; you're not even worth it." He turned around and walked up to the dormitory where he threw himself onto his bed, leaving behind a very confused and hurt Ron.

**Draco**

Draco walked back from the class he had just walked with Pansy too. He walked down the stairs and saw Harry standing in the middle of the hall looking down at his feet and muttering to himself.

"Talking to yourself Potter?" He asked, looking at him with interest which quickly changed to distaste.

He watched as Harry turned red and fought the urge to laugh in Harry's face. _He looks so cute standing there like that. No what! Potter…cute? INSULT HIM! _"No" Harry said.

"No?" He sneered at him. "So, standing in the middle of the hall, looking down at your feet and muttering, with no-one around you, isn't talking to yourself?" He raised an eyebrow. "Hit your head then Potter?" He smirked. _That's all you could come up with…?_

"No, I didn't hit my head, thank you very much Malfoy." He looked away "At least I don't think I did…" He muttered to himself.

He looked at him weirdly, wondering what he had just said so quietly that he couldn't hear him. "Are you ok Potter? It's no fun tormenting a crazy person." He watched Harry, suddenly wondering why he cared if Harry was actually ok.

"Yes I'm fine." Harry said out loud, jerking Draco out of his thoughts. "And no, I didn't hit my head. Thank you for the concern Malfoy."

Draco glared at him, wanting to get away from him as quickly as possible, for a reason he couldn't quite work out. "Whatever Potter." He turned to walk away.

"Wait." Harry said, grabbing his arm. Draco and Harry both looked down at his arm; Draco didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to people acting out of character. All the people he knew had been brought up to act in a certain way, never doing anything that would make someone think different of you. After a couple of seconds Harry withdrew his arm and Draco found himself wishing that Harry would put his hand back_. He makes me feel safe…_Draco thought to himself in wonder. Draco gave Harry a look that even he would never have been able to describe. "I'm sorry. I just…" Harry trailed off and Draco suddenly realised what would happen if he carried on like this. _I can't let this go anywhere. I can't let myself feel. _

"Never touch me again Potter." He said with a dangerous tone to his voice. He gave one last look at Harry and walked off, wiping his arm as he went. He looked straight ahead as he walked, letting his thoughts leak away, until all he thought about was the sound of his shoes on the cold floor.

He reached the slytherin common room and went in, walking straight to his dormitory. He noticed a regal looking owl standing on the window ledge. It was his father's owl. He groaned and walked towards it. "Just want I need." He looked at the owl and undid the letter from the owl's leg. He opened it slowly, and let his eyes read the letter. Opening them in surprise, and then closing them shut at the end.

_Draco._

_As you will soon know, I have escaped from the Prison. It seems the dementors are not as loyal as the old fool Fudge once thought they are. _

_I have great news for you son. The Dark Lord says that he will accept you into his ranks. You shall be the youngest death eater. It is a great privilege and one I am sure you will be delighted with.. We have worked for this since you turned ten and it is time all my hard work paid off. _

_I can not tell you when this will happen, but I hope soon._

_Stay out of trouble at Hogwarts; I do not want Dumbledore to know of any more of my business, or plans. _

_Lucius Malfoy. _

Draco opened his eyes and looked at the letter. "There is no escape." He muttered. He shoved the letter in the back of his sock drawer and lay down on his bed, thinking of things that were to come, with the occasional face of one green eyed boy coming into his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR!**

**Harry**

Harry lay on his bed, thinking about what he had just said to Ron. _I was out of order. He's just worried about me. But they always are, why can't they just leave me alone? _He got up and realised that it was time for lunch. He glanced down at the timetable which he had put on the drawer next to his bed. He groaned, Potions with the slytherins. He walked into the common room and noticed Ron wasn't there, he sighed and made his way slowly to the great hall where he saw Hermoine sitting at the table with Ron sitting opposite her. He walked over and sat down next to her. "Hey" he said, smiling at both of them.

"Hello Harry, are you ok?" Hermoine asked him

"Yeah thanks. Ron I'm sorry about what I said…"

Ron shrugged. "It's ok."

Harry stared at him; he wasn't expecting Ron to forgive him so easily. "It's just you know, things get to me sometimes. I'm sorry"

"Forget about it." Ron answered, not looking at him in the eye. "I understand."

Harry looked at Hermoine to see if she would clarify that Ron was actually ok with him. She just shrugged and went back to eating. Harry looked down at his plate and started to fill his plate with food, hating the awkward silence that had settled among the three friends. Harry's eyes looked over to the Slytherin table and saw that Malfoy was nowhere to be seen and neither was Pansy. He sighed quietly and went back to eating, wondering why it bothered him so much that Pansy wasn't there either. _I can't be jealous, can I?_

"How was your class Hermoine?" Harry asked, wanting to break the silence, and to stop the thoughts that were threatening to unfold in his mind.

"It was good. Very interesting" She answered, smiling at him.

"Good." He paused, wishing desperately that he could have taken back what he had said to Ron in the common room. He watched as Ginny Weasley made her way over to them and sat down next to him.

"Hi Harry." She said, looking at him

"Hey Ginny" Harry replied, plastering a smile onto his face. He had thought, at one point that he and Ginny would end up together, but now all he saw her as was Ginny Weasley. His friend, who was trying too hard to get the attention she had always wanted from being the youngest of seven,

"I haven't seen you in so long! I wish you could have come over during the holidays. But, I understand why you couldn't" She said, putting a hand onto his arm.

"Erm…thanks?"

"Anytime. If you ever want to talk…"

"Then you are here for me." He said, finishing off her sentence, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"Exactly! We know each other so well…" She said to him, starting to stoke his arm.

He was about to reply and remove her hand from his arm when he noticed Malfoy walk in with Pansy walking next to him, with her hand on his arm. He watched as they sat down and as Malfoy choose any food that was in front of him and started to pick at it.

"Harry? Did you hear me?"

He looked at Ginny. "Sorry, what?"

She laughed. "I was just asking how your summer was."

"O, it was great Gin. Just great." He said sarcasm evident in his voice.

"O…well…ok." Ginny said, not knowing what to say.

"Did you want something Ginny?" Harry asked her, finally moving her hand off of his arm.

She paused and looked quickly at Hermoine and Ron. "I just came to say hi Harry, like friends do."

"Don't worry about it Ginny. He's been acting like a right git today." Ron said, looking towards them.

Harry turned towards Ron. "I've apologised! I'm sorry that I snapped at you, I didn't mean to. I'm just stressed."

"Yeah, I know that. You just don't have to take it out on your friends." Ron said standing up.

Harry watched him walk out of the hall. "What does he want me to say?!"

"Maybe, you should just stop being a git." Ginny said, glaring at him. "It might work." She stood up. "I'll see you later Hermoine."

Harry looked at Hermoine. "You're not going to walk off as well are you?"

She patted his arm. "No, I'm not. But Ron told me what you said. Don't blow up again Harry. We are worried about you and we just told each other that. I don't think you should have yelled at Ron, but you have apologised and it was sincere. Don't worry about it. You know he's stubborn, but he will come round eventually. I will make sure of it." She smiled reassuringly at him. "And Ginny, well. It's up to you whether you want to fix things with her or not."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Do you want to be friends with her, or more? If its friends, she will soon be back to normal. She is unlike her brother, she knows you are going through a rough time and she will respect that you need space. But, if you want to be more, as I am sure she does then you had better move fast Harry, as there are many other people out there that are waiting for the moment you tell her she is not the one for you."

He stared at her blankly. "She thinks I'm the one for her?"

Hermoine laughed. "She likes you a lot Harry. I'm just not sure if you like her back. Do you?"

Harry looked down at his plate. "I don't know."

She nodded. "Fair enough. Anyway, it's time we got going to Potions. You ready?"

"Yeah." He stood up, taking one final look over at the slytherin table and in doing so, his eyes met with Draco Malfoys.

**Draco**

Draco lay on his bed, opening and closing his eyes. Not wanting to think about his father and what was happening or Harry Potter. _Why do I keep thinking of him? Why, why, why. _He jumped when he heard the door knock and then open slowly. It was Pansy.

"Class has finished already?" He asked her, looking confused.

"Yes. Its lunch, Blaise said he hadn't seen you since last lesson, so I came to look for you."

"O. I've been here." He said stupidly.

"Yes, I gathered that." Pansy said, smiling at him and coming to lie next to him on the bed. "What's wrong Dray?"

"Nothing."

"Yes, there is. You wouldn't let me call you Dray unless something is up. So, spill."

Draco turned away from her. "Nothing, ok. Drop it."

She looked at the back of his head and placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at her. There were tears in his eyes. "O Draco." She gathered him in her arms and rocked him, as if he was her child. She knew that he wouldn't let the tears fall, but she needed to let him know she was here.

Draco leant out of her embrace and looked at her. "I got a letter from my father."

Pansy looked at him. "What does it say?"

He shrugged, not wanting to tell her. "Just stuff. He's out of Azkaban."

"I figured. Are you going to write back to him?" He shook his head. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to, I'm scared he will see through what I'm writing."

"He won't Draco. He thinks you're the perfect son."

Draco sighed. "I know. I don't want to talk about this Pansy."

She shrugged. "If you're sure." He nodded again. "You want a game of chess?"

He gave her a small smile. "Thank you."

She gave him another hug. "Anytime Draco. Anytime."

They got out Draco's chess set and sat and played it in silence until Pansy's stomach gave a loud noise. She blushed. "Sorry." She said.

He shrugged. "You're hungry. You want to go to lunch?"

She nodded. "You're coming with me."

"I'm not hungry."

"I don't care." She stood up, pulling him with her. "Come on." They walked through the school together and stopped outside the doors to the Great Hall. "Why have you stopped?" She asked him.

"People will ask why we are late."

"So, let them."

"Malfoys are never late."

She looked at him. "Draco. Come on." She held onto his arm and walked into the hall and headed for the slytherin table.

As Draco walked towards his table he felt as if eyes were following him, and when he sat down he saw that Harry quickly moved his head away, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't be. Draco grabbed some food that was in front of him, just to keep Pansy happy who kept shooting glances at him. He picked at it, not very hungry and allowed his eyes to look around the room. They ended up looking at Harry Potter who had a weasel hanging off his arm and the other glaring at him. Draco felt something he wasn't used to feeling, something that he was sure wasn't meant to happen when you are looking at the person you are meant to hate most in the world. He continued to look at the gryffindors and watched as Ron said something Harry, while looking like he could easily punch him and then walk out of the Hall, with Ginny following shortly after. Harry looked hurt and then confused as Hermoine seemed to be explaining something to him. Draco shook his head, suddenly realizing he was staring at Harry Potter and then that he didn't want to stop staring at him. Hermoine and Harry stood up and Harry looked across the room, directly at him. For some reason Draco couldn't tear his eyes away, and he sat there, staring into his enemies eyes as if he was drowning in them, and he knew then that the only person he would ever want to save him was Harry.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR!**

**Chapter 4**

**Harry**

Harry walked with Hermoine to the Potions room, after collecting their bags from the common room, pretending to listen to what she was saying, but he couldn't. All he could think about was the way Draco's eyes had burned into his own as if they were making sure there was a place for him there. Harry wasn't sure what this meant. Did it mean Draco liked him back? _But, _he rationalized with himself, _he can't. Why would he?_ He carried on, lost in his words until he noticed that Hermoine had stopped and was talking to someone who he could sense glaring at him. He looked up and saw that it was Ron. He smiled weakly at him, not sure at how Ron would react.

"Ron, would you please stop being so childish and stubborn. He has apologised!"

"He shouldn't have said it in the first place." Ron replied, still glaring at Harry.

"I know I shouldn't have Ron, and I'm sorry. Seriously, I am."

"See, he means it. I am not having another year where you two don't talk. I am not going to be the go between for you two again." Hermoine said and turned around to talk to Lavender.

Harry looked at Ron, unsure of what to say. "I don't want us not to be talking Ron. You're my best mate."

Ron looked at Harry for a second and his features softened slightly. "Ok."

"So, we're good?"

Ron nodded slowly. "Yeah, just don't yell at me again unless you actually have a reason for it. And stop being such a git. Deal?" he stuck his hand out.

"Deal" Harry replied and shook Ron's hand. "Hermoine will be pleased." He said laughing. The hairs on Harry's back suddenly stuck up and he immediately knew that Draco was walking down the corridor.

"Here comes the ferret." Ron muttered, glaring darkly at Malfoy.

Harry only nodded and looked towards Malfoy who, as normal, was flanked by Crabbe and Goyle with Pansy and Blaise walking behind. Harry felt himself feeling relieved that for once Pansy wasn't clutching onto Draco. For a split second he caught Draco's eye until Draco quickly looked away as if he were embarrassed Harry had looked at him. Harry sighed and turned back to Ron who was talking to Hermoine. Hermoine smiled at Harry when she saw him looking at them.

"We are just talking about the Christmas Holidays" Hermoine started to say but was interrupted by the door opening and Snape staring out at them.

"Get in." Was all he said and then went back into the room.

"Good to see he's happy as usual." Ron said smiling slightly.

"You thought he'd be moody git?! Ron! Are you going crazy?" Harry asked, nudging him slightly and entering the room, glad that Ron had forgiven him properly.

Ron laughed. "Must be."

The three sat at the back and looked towards the front where Snape was glaring down at them.

"If we are all quiet" He said, looking at the three of them. "We will begin. This year we will start to be studying more advanced potions. Anyone without the skills of potion making, as many of you are." At this point he glared at Harry and Neville. "Really need to start paying attention. How you even got into this class is beyond me. Turn to page 15 and start reading about the Felix Felicis potion." There was a sudden noise of people opening their books and then quiet fell on the room as everyone began to read.

Harry started to read the contents of the pages and after a while looked up. He scanned the room, noticing that only a handful of gryffindors were in the room and even he began to wonder as to how Neville had managed to get into this class. His eye settled on the boy who seemed to be taking up most of his thinking time and was about to look away when Draco looked up and looked directly at him, and this time he didn't look away. Malfoy looked at Harry as if he could read Harry's mind. Harry blinked, scared of what Malfoy was thinking but still not wanting to look away. He smiled slightly at Malfoy and was about to look away again until he saw that Malfoy returned his smile, with an even smaller one than Harry had given him. Harry blinked hard. _Did he just smile at me? No, don't be stupid. Yes he did. _Harry felt himself blush and groaned inwardly, he saw Malfoy smile again before he turned away and Harry looked down at his own book until he felt a sharp nudge in his ribs.

"Are you ok Harry?" Ron whispered loudly.

"Yes. Why?"

Ron shrugged. "You just looked confused. I don't understand this potion either. But I'd like to be lucky, just once." He smiled, but it was quickly wiped off his face when he saw Snape glaring at them.

"5 points from Gryffindor. I told you to work in SILENCE Mr. Weasley. If you cannot even follow a simple instruction like that, then I really do not want to even think what this year will bring us."

Ron gulped and looked down at his book, his cheeks and ears going a bright shade of red. Harry also looked down at his book but after awhile looked again at Malfoy who was talking to Blaise and smiling slightly, Ron also looked up and followed Harry's eyes.

"Doesn't take points from his own bloody house does he." Ron said, glaring at the two boys.

Harry shook his head and watched as Draco turned around and glared at Ron and what Harry could have sworn was a ghost of a smile at him. Harry blushed and looked down at his book, not wanting to let Ron see that he had blushed. Ron also looked down at his book and the lesson finally finished.

"Write 4 pages on this potion for the next lesson." Snape snapped at them and swept out of the room.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Well, that lesson was full of fun."

"Actually, I find this potion particularly interesting. And if you too hadn't of been talking then you wouldn't have had points taken away." Hermione said to the two of them.

"Yes. It's very interesting." Ron replied sarcastically, raising his eyebrows.

The three of them made their way to the common room where Hermione immediately set to doing her Potions and Ancient Runes work while Ron and Harry, knowing nothing was in for tomorrow began a game of chess. While they were playing Ginny walked in and Ron nudged Harry and nodded towards his sister. "I think you should apologise to her as well mate."

Harry nodded and walked towards Ginny. "Hey Gin. Can I have a word with you please?"

She looked at him and then nodded and followed him up to his dormitory, they sat on Harry's bed and Ginny suddenly realised that what she had been hoping for, for so long was about to come true.

Harry looked at Ginny, unsure of where to start. He could hear Hermione's words inside his head, telling him that he has to tell her how he feels. "I'm really sorry, for acting like an idiot earlier. I didn't mean to upset you."

Ginny smiled at him. "I know. I just over reacted."

Harry nodded and looked down at his hands, which he was twisting in his lap. "And, I think. That…well, I think you are a really good friend Ginny."

She moved closer to him. "And you are an amazing friend too Harry. You are so nice and kind and everything I have ever wanted in a guy."

He looked surprised and looked at her. "Thanks…But…"

Ginny interrupted him. "No, let me go first. Harry, I've always liked you. Always, since the first time I met you and at first, I was sure it was just a little girl's crush. But then, when you saved me in my first year it started to give me hope that you might like me back. But you are my brother's best friend, so I didn't say anything. Infact, I started to hide that I did like you; everyone believed I had gotten over my 'crush' and this is what I wanted. But I never have Harry. Never. I have been waiting for this moment for so long and now it's finally here. Harry" She looked at him, and took one of his hands, holding it in her own. "I think, no, I know. I love you."

Harry stared at her, unsure of what to say, what to do. He didn't feel like this about her and he didn't even realise that she felt like this about. He knew that she liked him but he just like everyone else believed she had gotten over him. He blinked and pulled his hand out of hers.

"Harry? Please say something." Ginny said, starting to panic, thinking she had come on too strong. That she should have let him tell her that he loved her before she said it.

"I…" Harry stopped. "Ginny…" he stopped again and stood up. "I'm really sorry how I acted this morning, I shouldn't have treated you like that and it hurt me, that I had hurt you, because you are one of my closest friends Ginny." He looked at her. "And I love you, but only as a friend. It's like you said, I'm your brothers best friend and I have ever only seen you as nothing but a sister. I think you are beautiful Ginny, but you deserve so much more than me. I'm sorry." He sat down next to her again and looked at her. "Ginny?"

Ginny's eyes filled with tears. "This is what you wanted to say to me? That you loved me as a sister. Why, what is it about me that you don't like? I'll change it, I promise."

Harry looked at her in shock. "Ginny, you're amazing. There's nothing wrong with you, I just don't feel like that about you." Ginny gave a sob. "Please don't cry" Harry said, reaching over to hug her.

Ginny pulled away, tears flowing freely from her eyes now, she stood up and looked at everywhere but him. "I'm sorry I ever told you Harry, that I wasted my feelings on you."

She walked towards the door, tears stopping her from seeing where she was going properly. "Ginny wait. Please."

Ginny stopped, with her hand on the doorknob. "I don't think I can just be friends with you Harry." She turned around and looked at him. "Sorry." She closed her eyes, wishing for the tears to stop and walked out of the room and down the stairs, away from the one person she thought she could ever truly love.

Harry watched her leave, stunned, and sank down onto his bed, wondering how on the first proper day back at Hogwarts he had already lost one of his best friends.

**Draco**

Draco walked down to the Potions lab lost in his thoughts about Harry, as they walked down the corridor he felt Harry look at him, he looked back but quickly looked away, not wanting Harry to know that he had made Draco feel something for the first time in his life that hadn't been drilled into him by his father. They walked into the classroom and he started to read about the potion Snape had set until he felt eyes on the back of his head. He looked up, straight at Harry and this time, he didn't want to look away. He stared at Harry sensing that Harry was as walled up as he was. He watched as Harry smiled at him and for a second, Draco didn't know how to react but finally, he smiled ever so slightly back at him. Draco wanted to laugh when he saw that Harry actually blushed but this stopped when he saw Ron start talking to Harry, obviously saying something about him.

"He's so bloody stupid." Blaise muttered, glaring at Ron. "He actually makes me feel rather ill."

Draco smiled. "Never would have thought he was pureblood." He commented.

Blaise nodded in agreement. "Whole family…My mother says their house doesn't even stand up straight."

"How does your mother know that?" Wondering, not for the first time how Blaise's mother finds out everything that she does.

Blaise looked at Draco and smiled. "My mother knows everything."

Draco smiled slightly. "I do believe you are right there Blaise."

"He's glaring at you again Draco. I swear they must fancy you Draco."

Draco smirked. "Who wouldn't." he turned around and glared back and then saw Harry watching him, again. He gave Harry the smallest smile and turned back around, finishing the chapter on the potion, content that Harry didn't seem to hate him anymore.

At the end of the lesson Draco, Pansy and Blaise made their way up to Draco's and Blaise's dormitory. Blaise flung himself onto his bed. "So glad this day is over."

Draco nodded in agreement and sat down on his bed. Pansy sat next to him. "It feels like we have been back forever." Pansy said. "I can't believe this is our sixth year." She looked around. "I'm scared that we only have 2 years left."

Blaise sat up. "Why?

"Because we only have 2 years left of safety. 2 more years where we are free to do what we like."

Draco laughed sarcastically. "We aren't free to do what we like Pansy."

"What do you mean, 2 years left of safety?" Blaise asked again.

Pansy looked at Draco, unsure of what to say, he just shrugged at her. Not really caring what she said. "Once we have left Hogwarts, we will have to do exactly what the Dark Lord wants us to do." Pansy said

Blaise nodded. "I would say that there is more safety with him, than there is here."

"Are you going to get the mark Blaise?" Pansy asked him, not really wanting to know the answer.

Blaise looked at her and nodded slowly. "Yes. I am, it is what I want. Are you?"

Pansy looked back, unsure of what her answer is. "I expect so. The Dark Lord is more powerful than anyone."

Blaise nodded in agreement. "What about you Draco?" He asked, looking at him.

Draco stared at the wall. "Yes. It is what is expected of me."

Pansy looked down, scared at how Draco had accepted he would not have a choice at all in his future. She looked at him, but he was still staring at the wall.

Blaise smiled. "We will still be together. Fighting together, like we have been since we were born"

"And dying together." Draco muttered.

Blaise looked at him. "We will be dying for what is right. Dying for what we believe in, dying fighting. Isn't that what you want?"

Draco finally looked away from the wall and looked directly at Blaise. "Yes. That is exactly what I want."

Pansy wanted to cry and reached out for Draco's hand which she clasped in her own. "At least we will be together, us three."

Draco let her take his hand and looked at her. He knew Pansy knew some of what he felt and he trusted Pansy more than anyone else he knew and he knew that Pansy was reading between the lines of what he was saying. She knew that he didn't believe he would make it further than his eighteenth birthday. It had never been said out loud, but she knew him too well. He loved Pansy, she was his closest friend, and in some ways his only friend. He knew that she wanted to go with the Dark Lord but she wasn't as blinded as Blaise was. Blaise seemed to think that going with the Dark lord would be amazing but both Draco and Pansy knew better. Draco wouldn't leave Pansy; he couldn't let her face Voldemort on her own. So, he would be by her side. The three of them had grown up together knowing how things would end up. But Blaise was different to them, his father wasn't quite so in Voldemorts inner circle as Draco's was and so Blaise was told the glorified stories of what happened. Draco, on the other hand, had seen first hand what being with Voldemort was truly like but he was destined to be next to his father, it was the path was chosen for him when he was born and it was the path he had been going down ever since then. He didn't see a way out. So he hid how he felt, he didn't tell anyone, even Pansy, what would happen when they left Hogwarts. He wouldn't let himself let anyone know that he was scared. Not only for himself but for everyone.

**Thank you to everyone that has reviewed! Keep them coming, makes me want to update faster! **


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to JKR!**

**Harry**

Harry lay on his bed until Ron came up and sat down next to him. "Were you a git to my sister again?" Ron asked him

Harry shook his head.

"She came down crying."

Harry nodded his head.

"What did you say to her?"

Harry groaned. "I told her I only liked her as a friend.

"O…I've never seen her cry like that."

"She told me she loved me."

Ron sat in silence. "Ginny loves you?"

Harry nodded his head again, sitting up.

"And you only like her as a friend?"

"Yes."

"She was crying because you told her that?"

"Yes. She doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Ah."

Harry looked at Ron. "What should I do?"

Ron looked back, "You're asking me? How am I meant to know? I'm not good with crying females."

Harry smiled. "Should I talk to her?"

"Well, considering how the last talking to her went, I would say no. Just leave her for a bit. She will get over it."

"You sure?"

"No. She told you she loved you, and in turn, you rejected her. Course she isn't going to get over it. I just wanted you to feel better."

"Your plan really worked."

"Good. You want to get some food?"

"Is Ginny still down there?"

"Nope. She ran up to her room."

"Ok then. Thanks."

"For what?"

"Not punching me."

Ron smiled at Harry. "You haven't exactly done anything wrong. It's not your fault you don't like her."

They stood up and walked down to the common room where Hermione was waiting for them. "You told her how you felt then Harry." Was the first thing that came out of her mouth when she saw Harry.

Harry nodded sadly. "It didn't go down too well."

Hermione gave him a hug. "At least she won't have false hope anymore."

The three walked down to the Great Hall where they started to eat until Harry saw Ginny walk in. "O no."

"Whaaa?" Ron asked his mouth full of food.

Hermione gave him a look of disgust. "Don't worry Harry."

"She's still crying!" Harry said, looking at Ginny who refused to catch his eye.

Hermione looked at him sympathetically. "What do you expect? You told her you didn't love her the same as she loved you. I'm going to go see how she is doing." She smiled at the two of them and got up and walked over to Ginny who immediately threw her arms around Hermione, giving her a massive hug and crying into her shoulder. After a couple of minutes the two girls walked out of the Great Hall and Harry looked back down at his plate.

"I feel horrible."

Ron shrugged. "It's like Hermione said, at least she knows now."

Harry gave him a glare. "Yes, but I didn't want her to cry and say she doesn't want us to be friends anymore!" he looked across at the slytherin table and saw that Draco was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Pansy. "Well that's just great." He muttered darkly.

Ron gave him a sympathetic pat. "Don't worry. I'll have a word with her."

Harry nodded his thanks and picked at his food, waiting for Ron to finish so he could get away from the glares he was getting from the girls in Ginny's dormitory.

"Can we go now Ron? People keep glaring."

Ron looked down at the table and saw them all glaring at Harry. "Yeah, might be a good idea."

They got up and walked quickly out of the Great Hall, just as they were about to go up the stairs Harry saw Pansy walk slowly to the Great Hall and she looked like she had just been crying. He continued to look at her, but when she noticed he was staring at her she just glared at him and walked into the Great Hall.

"Wonder what was up with her." Harry said to Ron.

"With who?"

"Pansy, I just saw her crying."

"Maybe she got rejected too!"

Harry glared at Ron. "It's not funny. Your sister is crying because of me."

"Yeah I know and I feel sorry for her. But my sister has always been tough, never would have guessed she would have a break down over you."

"She isn't having a breakdown because of me." He said, saying the password and stepping into the common room. He looked towards the fire where Hermione and Ginny were talking, who fortunately had stopped crying. Hermione looked over at them and smiled. Harry smiled back and was about to walk over when he heard Ginny make an excuse to Hermione and walk up to her room.

Hermione walked over to them. "Well Harry…"

"What did she say? Is she going to be ok?"

"Of course she's going to be ok, she's just upset. She told me that she told you that she loved you." He nodded. "And that you don't love her back, in that way." He shook his head sadly. "She's glad she knows Harry. She's been living in hope ever since her first year and especially because you're so kind, you do sometimes give the impression you like her back."

He groaned. "Should I talk to her?"

Hermione smiled at him. "No. I don't think she really wants to talk to you, although, I think she feels better now."

"Ok, well. I think I'm going to go get some air..."

They nodded. "See you later mate." Ron said and walked over to the fire, closely followed by Hermione. Harry walked up to his room and got out his firebolt and walked down to the quidditch pitch where he flew, letting all thoughts out of his head. He looked around, and noticed that it was getting dark. He flew to the ground and saw someone sitting by one of the goal posts. He walked over to them and he suddenly realised that it was Malfoy.

"You're a good flyer, you know that Potter?" Malfoy asked when he saw Harry coming over to him.

"Thanks…" Harry answered, shocked that Malfoy had actually complimented him.

"Things on your mind?"

"Why?" Harry asked, looking at Draco.

"The way you were flying…I just fly like that…when I do." Draco looked away, embarrassed under the weight of Harry's stare.

"Like I would tell you anyway Malfoy." Harry mentally kicked himself, Draco was actually talking to him without insulting him and Harry still acted like a git towards him. Draco just shrugged.

"Fine." He stood up and turned to go.

"Wait." Harry couldn't let someone else leave him, someone he knew he already cared about. "I'm sorry; I guess I'm just not used to you not insulting me…"

Draco smirked. "Me neither."

There was an awkward silence where the boys looked everywhere but at each other. Harry finally broke it. "You come out here when you have things on your mind as well?" He asked, sitting down.

Draco sat down next to him and nodded. "Yeah. It's the only place where people leave me alone, until now. It would seem."

Harry smiled. "Same."

There was another silence, but this time it wasn't awkward and Harry looked at Draco and realised this was where he felt safest and most peaceful, with a boy who he was meant to hate.

**Draco**

Draco sat on his bed next to Pansy in silence. Blaise had gone down to the Great Hall and both had made excuses not to go with him. Pansy gave a sob and Draco looked at her in surprise. "What's wrong Pansy?"

She looked at him. "You don't want to go to him, do you?"

Draco looked down. "I don't know what you mean."

"Draco, I've grown up with you. I know you don't show emotion, but I've learnt to read between the lines of what you're saying. You don't want to go with the Dark Lord, but you feel like you have to."

Draco stood up. "I will join the Dark Lord because it is what is expected of me."

"But it's not what you want Draco. Is it?"

Draco sighed. "I don't know what I want Pansy. My life has been mapped out for me and I'm just following the route that has been set out for me."

She nodded sadly. "I know, I just want to help you. It hurts me to see you like this."

Draco sat back down next to her. "I know you do, but we both know that there is nothing that can be done. Pansy, don't cry." He reached over and held her close to him.

"I'm sorry" She said through her tears, "it's just…"

"I know." Draco said quietly.

They sat in silence until Pansy pulled away from Draco, her eyes red from crying. "I'm going to go down, get some food." Draco nodded. "Are you going to come?"

"No. I'm fine thanks."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded again. "Thanks."

She smiled at him. "I'll see you later then." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked out, leaving Draco on his own. Draco looked around the room at the 3 other beds and thought how he had grown up with these 3 boys and how they looked up to him. They followed him, did what he asked them to do. They didn't have a mind of their own, they were all just following orders and so was he. He sighed quietly and stood up staring out of the window at the quidditch pitch. He stared out at the sky that was showing signs of beginning to get dark.

Draco continued to stare out of the window and saw how his life was going to be and he hated it. He wanted to cry, but he knew he couldn't. His tears would be wasted. He had learnt this lesson at the age of 10 and he would never show another sign of weakness to anyone. He sighed again and walked out of his room as quickly as he could; nodding at the people that he passed in the common room and didn't stop walking until he was outside. He breathed in the air and ran towards the pitch; he always came here when he needed to get away. It was so peaceful and it was the only place where he felt he had any privacy. He sank down onto the grass by one of the posts and stared up at the sky, tears swam in his eyes but he pushed them back down. He let everything wash over him, thinking about everything but nothing at the same time. Draco didn't know how long he sat there, but he suddenly heard the doors of the castle opening and as he turned to see who it was, they flew into the sky, just circling around and around. Diving and then pulling back up again. He only knew one person that could fly like that. Draco watched Harry, mesmerized by the movements he was making. After some time Harry finally flew to the ground and got off of his broom and looked straight at where Draco was sitting. He didn't know what to do; he didn't want to deal with Harry. He didn't have the strength to be cruel to him anymore, but he also didn't want to move. So he sat there, and waited and watched as Harry slowly made his way over to him.

Draco studied him as he walked, wondering if he should say anything to him. "You're a good flyer, you know that Potter?" he finally settled on as Harry came into ear shot.

"Thanks…" Harry answered.

Draco could tell that Harry wasn't expecting him to be nice and neither was Draco, but Draco didn't want to be cruel, he wanted to be Harry's friend and when this realization hit him Draco realised he had to make sure Harry knew this. "Things on your mind?" He asked Harry.

"Why?" Harry said, looking at Draco as if he had grown another head, Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"The way you were flying…I just fly like that…when I do." Draco looked away, surprised at himself that he had actually admitted that to Harry. He had never told anyone anything personal about himself, even Pansy. _Although she generally seems to guess._ He thought to himself.

"Like I would tell you anyway Malfoy." Draco was hurt by Harry's reply, but he couldn't show it so he just shrugged.

"Fine." Draco stood up and turned to go.

"Wait." Draco was shocked at the urgency that seemed to be in Harry's voice. He looked at him, waiting for him to say something. "I'm sorry; I guess I'm just not used to you not insulting me…"

Draco smirked at this. "Me neither."

There was an awkward silence where Harry and Draco looked everywhere but at each other. Harry finally broke it and Draco was glad that he had. "You come out here when you have things on your mind as well?" Harry asked him, sitting down.

Draco sat down next to him and nodded, wondering where this conversation was going to go. "Yeah. It's the only place where people leave me alone, until now. It would seem." Draco blinked; he couldn't believe how easy it was to say things to Harry.

Harry smiled. "Same."

There was another silence and as Draco looked at the smile on Harry's face he realised it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. He looked away, not wanting to be caught staring at Harry. Draco wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. He stared down at his hands, twisting them round each other. "So" He said, looking up at the sky. "What is on your mind?" Draco wanted to kick himself, wondering over and over why he wanted Harry to tell him everything and why he wanted to tell Harry everything as well.

Harry shrugged and looked up at the sky as well. "Stuff."

"Never." Draco said sarcastically.

Harry smiled again and looked at Draco. "Sorry. I just, I don't know. It's weird you know. Being out here with you and us not wanting to kill each other."

Draco looked at Harry and caught his eyes. "I never wanted to kill you." He paused. "But, you're right. It is weird. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

"That's the thing though, I do." Harry whispered.

Draco felt his stomach knot, he didn't know what to say, or what to do and he wasn't used to this feeling. "Then…tell me." Draco said after a while.

Harry looked down. "I don't think I can."

Draco closed his eyes, he could feel the pain radiating off of Harry and he was surprised at how easily he could read the boy that was sitting next to him. He found himself wanting to hold him and comfort him, to promise him everything would be alright but something in Draco held him back. He knew things wouldn't be alright but somehow he had to make Harry let things go because it was exactly what Draco also needed. He opened his eyes and looked at Harry's bowed head. "Do you make choices?" He asked suddenly, surprising himself yet again at what he was saying.

Harry looked at him, an odd expression written on his face. "What do you mean?"

Draco looked at him, unsure if he should carry on with this. "Just, do you make choices? Do you decide when to do something?"

Draco watched as lots of different emotions flew across Harry's face at the same time. "Yes, but there's always things…people, restricting me. Do you?" Harry asked, watching Draco expectantly.

"No." Draco said after a while, in a barely audible whisper. "I don't." He looked across the pitch, not knowing what to do. He felt Harry staring at him, waiting for him to carry on. He sighed. "My father." He stopped; he didn't want to think about his father. "My life has been mapped out." He said slowly. "I just follow the path that has been set out for me." He stopped and looked at Harry. Harry was looked at him in a way that Draco found he couldn't read.

"You know, you made me make one of my first true choices." Harry finally said.

Draco blinked at him, wondering what Harry was talking about. "What?" He asked.

"The sorting hat wanted to put me into Slytherin, but I had met you and had heard what Ron thought of you and Slytherins so I asked the sorting hat not to put me into Slytherin and so he said Gryffindor."

Draco looked at him in shock. "You were going to be put into Slytherin?" Harry nodded. "But you didn't want to, because of me?!" Harry nodded again, a wary smile on his face. "When we were just 11 years old?! I must have been a right bastard." He smiled at Harry and shook his head. "You're lucky, you know that Potter."

Harry looked confused. "Why?"

"That you can do things like that." Draco stood up. "We should get going, it's dark."

Harry nodded and stood up and the two walked side by side up to the doors, as they got there Harry paused. "Sometimes, I do exactly what they want me to." He looked at Draco, his hand on the door handle. "It makes me feel like I don't exist. Like, I'm a puppet. The one thing they need to get rid of Voldemort, and once I've done that, they will get rid of me. Forget about me, because my job will be done."

Draco looked at Harry and felt the urge to hold him again. "They won't forget about you." He said, willing Harry to see exactly how amazing Harry was.

"How do you know?" Harry asked.

Draco realised how much Harry needed someone true to talk to, someone to tell him the truth. "Because, you're impossible to forget Potter." He said quietly. "Because you touch people in a way you will never know." He looked into Harry's eyes, waiting for him to say or do anything.

Harry looked back into his eyes and whispered "Thank you." He pushed open the doors, holding it open. "Goodnight Draco."

Draco watched him walk away, knowing his first ever choice had been made. "Goodnight Harry." He whispered back.

**Thank you again to people that are reviewing! They make me happy :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: JKR owns all the characters! **

**Thank you for reviews yet again! You know how I love to get them! I am very sorry for how long it has taken me to get this next chapter up, life has been very hectic recently, but it is slowly coming back to normal. I am also sorry for the differing lengths of my chapters…I just always have a point in which I want to finish my chapters, and it always seems to vary at how long they are. So anyway…read and review!  **

**Harry**

The rest of the week passed quickly for Harry. He only saw Draco in lessons, in which he would give a small smile or nod. He noticed that Draco no longer threw insults at himself and his friends for which he was thankful for. Harry had replayed his conversation with Draco over and over in his head. He couldn't believe how open Draco had been with him and in return how he had been with him. He had seen a side of Draco that he doubted many other people had. It gave him hope that Draco wanted to be friends with him and that Harry might finally have someone he can truly talk to, but for the past week he had hardly seen Draco on his own, every time he saw him out of lessons Pansy was with him. Harry wanted desperately to talk with Draco again but he didn't know how he would get him on his own.

He thought of the words Draco had said to him as they had said goodbye and Harry had seen in his eyes that Draco believed what he was saying and that he wanted Harry to believe it as well. It shocked Harry how much emotion Draco had shown him and Harry found himself wanting to be with him all the time.

At the weekend Harry woke up and noticed that no-one else was awake. He got up, dressed quickly and went down for an early breakfast. He sat at the table on his own, with only a few other people coming in as the time went on. After a while Draco walked in and was for once on his own. Draco turned his head and looked at Harry, giving him a smile and then walking over to his table. Harry finished his breakfast quickly and walked towards the door, catching Draco's eyes as he did. He nodded towards the doors and walked out into the crisp morning air. He sighed and smiled, walking down towards the pitch. 10 minutes later Draco appeared at his side.

"Potter, you are one of the most least subtle people I know." Draco said smirking.

Harry smiled. "Well, no-one was really in there."

"True." The two stood in silence, staring out at the lake.

"You know, when we last talked…" Harry started to say.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what came over me, telling you…stuff."

Harry looked at him curiously. "No, I was going to say thanks."

Draco met his look. "Why?"

"You know, talking to me properly. Letting me say what I want and knowing that you won't judge me, or try and make me think in a different way. I don't really get that with anyone else and it surprised me how easily I found I could talk to you."

Draco nodded. "Yeah, me too."

"So, does this make us friends?" Harry asked, holding his breath.

Draco smirked. "Well isn't that a question for two people who are meant to hate each other since their first year."

"I don't think, looking back, that I actually hated you."

"Same. I was told to, by everyone. So in a way, I guess I thought I did."

Harry nodded. "I know what you mean."

"People told you to hate me?" Draco asked him.

"Well, not exactly. But, Ron did, he was my best mate, so I just followed him I guess." He shrugged. "Then, in second year, when you called Hermione a mudblood I felt even more like I should as you really insulted my friend, but I don't know, I don't think I did. I don't think I really had it in me. Who told you to hate me?" Harry asked him, amazed at the way things were going.

"Everyone. My father, people in my house. So I tried to…apparently it didn't work that well." He said smiling.

Harry looked at him smiling naturally. A smile that wasn't forced or a smirk. A smile that was so rare to Harry that he knew that he wanted Draco to smile all the time, at things Harry said to him. "Apparently not." He paused. "Why did your father tell you to hate me?"

Draco looked at him with an odd expression on his face. "Because I failed at befriending you."

Harry stared at Draco in shock. "What?"

"You know, you wouldn't be friends with me. You choose the weasel over me. I told my father and he said that I was to hate you, make your life miserable. Although, to be honest, I don't think you really need me to make your life even more miserable. That Christmas holiday was not one of the best…" Draco said, trailing off.

Harry looked at the ground. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter now."

Harry didn't know what to say. He had always thought that Draco led the perfect life, adored by his mother and father. He did what he wanted and he got what he wanted at the click of a finger but now, he was seeing things differently. He sighed. "I'm still sorry." He looked around. "People will be up now."

"Yeah."

Harry looked at him. Draco was staring out at the lake, obviously thinking about something that Harry knew he wasn't going to tell him. "I'm going to go in and see if Ron and Hermione are up." Draco nodded. "I'll see you later?"

"Ok."

"Ok then." He paused, not wanting to leave Draco alone.

"I think." Draco said, pausing for a while then continuing. "That it would be best if we didn't tell anyone about us being friends." He looked at Harry. "It can't get back to certain people."

Harry nodded, understanding what Draco was getting at. He walked off, leaving Draco standing on his own.

Harry walked straight up to the common room, happy at the way things were turning out. He entered the common room and saw Ron sitting alone on a chair by the fire. "Hey." Harry said walking over. Ron only nodded in response. "Are you ok Ron?" Harry asked, sitting down next to him.

"I think that, maybe. Today, I think, that I am, maybe, am going to ask. Her. Out."

Harry looked at Ron. "You're going to ask Hermione out today?"

Ron nodded slowly and buried his head in his hands.

"Is that bad?" Harry asked.

Ron nodded again and mumbled something into his hands.

"Erm, what was that?"

Ron looked up. "She's going to reject me." He said again and went red.

Harry laughed and shook his head. "I don't think so Ron."

"You don't?" Ron asked in surprise.

"Of course not. It's about time you got your act together, what made you change your mind?"

"Ginny telling you how she felt."

Harry looked at him in shock. "But…I did reject her…" Harry said, unsure of how this would have made Ron finally want to ask Hermione out.

"I know. But…I've been thinking this week, at least I'll know, you know? And if she doesn't like me back, I won't have to live in hope. But then…if she does reject me…I'm not really sure what I will do."

Harry smiled. "I see. I'm pretty sure she won't reject you though Ron, so, you won't have to worry about that one."

Ron nodded and smiled at Harry. "Is it ok with you though mate, if I do?"

Harry looked confused. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Incase, I don't know."

"Ron, I've been waiting for you to do this for ages. I'm fine with it, seriously."

Ron gave Harry a big grin. "Cool!" He looked towards the stairs and went a bright red when he saw Hermione coming down them.

"Hey you two" Hermione said, coming over to them.

Harry covered a laugh at Ron's redness. "Hey 'mione. You good?"

She nodded and smiled at him. "You look happier today Harry. Any reason?"

He looked at her, amazed at how she picked up on the smallest things. "No, not really, guess it's just because it's the weekend." He said, shrugging.

"Good." She looked at Ron. "And, are you ok Ron…You look a bit…"

Harry looked between them. "I'm just going to go up to my room. I've already had my breakfast." He said, standing up. "Go on without me." He winked at Ron, and walked up to his room, laughing as he heard Ron stutter out a few words to Hermione.

**Draco **

Draco watched Harry walk off. Surprised and shocked at the conversation he had just had with him. This was the first time he had ever admitted to anyone that his relationship with his father wasn't as perfect as everyone believed it to be. He was happy that Harry had never hated him but at the same time he was becoming scared at how easily he could talk to Harry. He couldn't let people get close to him, especially Harry. If he let Harry into his life…he didn't even want to begin to think of the possibilities of what could happen. For some reason, Draco knew it would be incredibly hard for him if he were to try and separate himself from Harry, but he knew he had to do it.

Draco had seen emotions in Harry that he felt himself. He somehow knew that Harry felt alone, even though he was constantly with people that truly cared about him. Unlike Draco, who was always alone. People were with Draco because they were told to stick by him, with the possible exception of Pansy. He walked towards the lake and sat on a rock that was by the surface. He stared into the water and looked at his reflection that gazed back at him. He needed to talk to Harry, to tell him they couldn't be friends but he had seen the glimmer of hope that had glittered in Harry's eyes and he didn't want to be someone to hurt the boy more. He sighed and picked up a rock and threw it at his reflection, causing it to shimmer and disappear until it came back, just as it had been before. Draco continued to stare at his reflection. He was shocked at the sadness that was etched onto his face, at how defeated he looked. He changed his facial features to how people saw him. The mask was back up. He looked at it, the way he looked like nothing could ever hurt him. He turned away, not wanting to look at the lies his face was portraying. He stood up and walked slowly back up to the castle, wishing he could stay out here forever. It was so calm and peaceful and out there with Harry was where he belonged. As soon as this thought came into his mind, he pushed it to the back. He wouldn't let these thoughts come up. He couldn't be friends with Harry, let alone anything else. He looked at the lake once more and walked into the entrance Hall, closing the door behind him.

"Draco." Draco turned his head in the direction of the call and saw Blaise walking towards him. "Where did you go?"

Draco just shrugged. "I woke up early so I just went straight to breakfast."

Blaise nodded. "Pansy was asking after you."

"Where is she?"

"She's having breakfast. She didn't look very happy when she came in for food last night. Did you two have a fight?" He asked, as the two of them began to make their way to the Slytherin common room.

Draco shook his head. "No, we didn't. Is she ok now?"

"Yeah, just asked where you were. She seems worried about you."

"She shouldn't."

Blaise stopped. "Look, Draco. Are you having second thoughts, about what you are going to do after Hogwarts?"

Draco stopped as well and looked at Blaise. "Why?"

"Just, I don't know. Last night…" he stopped; he didn't want to get on the wrong side of Draco.

"No. I'm not; I will do exactly as my father has planned for me." He glared at Blaise. "And I would suggest that you never ask me where my loyalties lie again Zabini." He started walking again.

"I'm sorry Draco. I didn't mean it like that…" The two boys walked in silence until they reached the common room. As they sat down Blaise looked at Draco. "I'm scared though and I know Pansy is as well."

Draco looked at him, surprised that Blaise had admitted to this. "You're scared? Of what?"

He shrugged. "What we are going to have to do. I'm not…I couldn't kill someone Draco" He said quietly, fear evident in his eyes.

"I thought that's what you wanted, to kill all the mudbloods. Be the Dark Lord's right side man." Draco said.

Blaise shook his head. "No and everyone knows that's exactly where you will be heading, your father has made sure of that. And yes, I hate mudbloods but it doesn't mean I want to kill them."

"Do you want other people to kill them Blaise?" Draco asked him, waiting for his answer. Blaise nodded, unsure what Draco meant by asking this question. "Then I'm sure, when the time comes, you will be able to do what is expected of you."

"What if I can't?" Blaise whispered, staring at Draco.

Draco looked at Blaise. "Then…" He paused; he didn't know what to say. "Blaise, don't worry about it. When the time comes, I'm sure you will be surprised."

"Then I will be killed myself" Blaise whispered so quietly, that Draco nearly had to lean in to hear him. "I meant what I said last night thought Draco. I do want it to be us three. You two are my best friends, and well…I don't know if I could do it without you."

Draco sighed and rubbed his head. "Blaise, look, one day, you are going to have to. I won't always be here to tell you what to do."

Blaise looked away. "Are you scared Draco?" He asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"No. Malfoy's are never scared." Draco also looked away, thinking about how many lies he told in a day. "Don't be scared." Draco whispered, and Blaise looked up in surprise at the sincerity and urgency in Draco's voice. "He knows when you are." Draco looked straight at Blaise. "Don't let him know your emotions Blaise." Blaise nodded and the two boys sat in silence, each of them thinking about the futures that lay ahead for them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: JKR owns all the characters! **

**Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter up. I haven't been getting my emails and so I never realised that my beta had sent it back to me! And…on that note, a massive thank you to my beta! **

**Harry**

"She said yes!" Ron shouted, as he burst threw the doors into the dormitory.

Harry smiled, "I told you she would!"

Ron couldn't stop the huge grin from spreading over his face. "I know, but…she said yes!"

An extremely happy looking Hermione walked into the room. "Hey Harry." She said, smiling shyly at him.

"Hey 'Mione," Harry replied, smiling back at her. "So, you two are officially a 'couple' now?" He said, laughing at the identical looks of happiness on his friends faces.

Ron nodded and grinned at Hermione. The three fell into silence, Hermione and Ron not being able to take their eyes off of each other and Harry sitting on his bed laughing silently at them. Hermione tore her eyes away from Ron and looked at Harry. "Are you sure you are ok with this? I mean…"

"Of course I am!" he said, jumping up and hugging her. "I think it's great that you two finally got your acts together."

Hermione gave an excited squeal. "Thank you so much!" She said, hugging him back. "I'm going to go tell Ginny!" She walked out of the room and Ron looked at Harry.

"You know, it's a real shame you don't like my sister."

Harry looked at him. "Why?"

"Well, because then you would have someone, you know." Harry shrugged. "I don't know, but you haven't liked anyone since Cho have you?"

Harry looked away and shook his head, not wanting to tell Ron who he liked, knowing that Ron would probably go mental.

"Exactly." Ron continued. "So, now I'm with Hermione, you should get together with someone and then you won't feel left out."

Harry laughed. "I won't feel left out. You two aren't my only friends you know."

"Well, if you do, just say so."

Harry nodded. "Course. So, I was going to do some homework, going to join me?"

Ron shrugged. "Well…want to play chess?"

Harry laughed again and nodded. "Better idea I'd say."

The two boys went into the common room and began to play a game of wizard's chess in which, for the first time in his life Harry won; as half way through it Hermione joined them and sat next to Ron. For the rest of the afternoon the three of them talked and laughed like there was nothing out there that wanted to kill them. At lunchtime they walked into the Great Hall, happy and laughing, with Ron and Hermione holding hands. They sat down and Harry looked across at the slytherin table where he saw Draco staring down at his food, nodding at whatever Pansy was saying to him. _I'll ask him what's wrong later. _Harry thought and then saw an owl coming towards him with a letter attached to its leg.

"Who is it from Harry?" Hermione asked when the owl perched on top of the table, staring expectantly at Harry.

Harry just shrugged, gave the owl some food and took the letter off of its leg. He didn't recognize the writing on the front and he opened the letter expecting it to be signed.

_Harry._

_Meet me at midnight. Astronomy Tower. _

Harry looked across at the slytherin table and saw Draco looking at him and he realized it must have been from Draco. Harry nodded at him and turned away smiling, wondering what Draco wanted to talk to him about.

"So, what does it say?" Ron asked.

"It's just a letter from…Lupin, asking how I am getting on and stuff." Harry replied quickly, feeling wretched that he was outright lying to his friends.

"How is he? I mean, with Sirius gone…" Hermione trailed off, wondering why Harry never spoke about Sirius.

"He's fine." Harry mumbled, looking down at his plate, not wanting to talk about Sirius. He had been able to block him out of his mind and he didn't want Hermione to start asking questions.

"Are you ok?" She asked, staring at him, wanting him to confide in them.

"Yes." Harry replied shortly, continuing to stare down at his plate. He was determined not to look up and catch her eyes.

"Harry, you need to talk about it," She started to say.

"Leave it Hermione." Ron whispered, placing a comforting hand on her arm. "He knows we're here for him."

Harry smiled gratefully at Ron. Hermione looked upset, but nodded and continued eating her food, and the mood that they had been in earlier was lost: just like they all knew it eventually would be.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly for Harry as all he wanted to do was to go and see Draco and as he lay in bed waiting for everyone else to fall asleep all he could think about was Draco. After everyone had finally fallen asleep, and grabbing his cloak he made his way slowly and quietly to the astronomy tower. When he got there Draco was already there, sitting on a window seat and staring out at the grounds. Harry stood in the doorway, staring at Draco and the way the moonlight made him look. His soft hair brushed the edges of his eyes, and his skin was ivory white. The only word that Harry could think of to describe him was perfect. Harry couldn't take his eyes off of him and blushed when Draco turned around and saw him standing there.

"Hi." Draco said, looking at Harry for a second and then turning back around. "Thanks, for coming."

"It's fine." Harry said, going to stand next to Draco. "Did you want to talk about something?" He asked, looking out of the window as well.

"Yeah." Draco said. He paused, and looked at Harry. "You know, I was really surprised when you talked to me last night. I didn't really understand what was happening." He stood up and started to pace up and down, Harry just watched him, not sure what Draco was going to say. "And then, this morning, when you walked off, I just began to think about what was happening. You know?" Harry nodded, not wanting to interrupt Draco. "And you want us to be friends? You asked me if we are, and I said we are. But we aren't. We never have been, and we never will be." He stopped pacing and looked at Harry.

Harry stared back at him, wondering what had made Draco change his mind so dramatically. "Has something happened?" He asked. "To make you change your mind." He continued when Draco didn't reply.

"Were you not listening to what I just said Potter?! We can't be friends. We can't." He repeated, looking down at the floor.

Harry felt a lump rising in his throat. He never would have thought that Draco felt so different to how he did. He knew Draco didn't feel the same about him as Harry felt about Draco but he thought that Draco liked him, if only as a friend. Harry had thought he had finally found someone that he could talk to, someone that wouldn't be careful around him, someone who would say the truth. Harry stared at the top of Draco's head. "Why?" He asked.

"Because..." Draco said, looking up at him. "Because of what will happen."

"What?" Harry repeated, hating himself for sounding stupid, for just standing there staring at Draco.

"Just listen to me Potter. I can't be your 'friend'."

"I don't understand" He said, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to flow.

"Don't understand what? Are you stupid or something?"

"Don't even bother." Harry said, finally looking away and sitting down.

"Don't even bother with what?" Draco asked, watching Harry.

"Insulting me. You've done enough already."

"Harry, listen to me. Please."

Harry looked up, astonished at how heartbroken Draco sounded and amazed that he had called him Harry.

"Please, just. I don't want you to get hurt."

Harry smiled weakly. "I see." He understood now. Draco was scared and because of this, he was trying to push him away. Harry had done it before to his friends, but he wouldn't allow Draco to do it to him. He wouldn't lose Draco. Even if he could only have him as a friend, he would make sure that he would be there for him, whenever he needed it.

**Draco**

Draco made his way slowly to the astronomy tower. His afternoon had gone slowly after seeing Harry receive his letter. He sighed, he didn't want to do this, but he had to. He had to make Harry understand why he was doing it, but at the same time he just wanted to get it over and done with. Finally, he reached the astronomy tower and sat on the window seat facing the Hogwarts grounds. He stared out of the window, up at the stars. He heard Harry come up and stand in the doorway, but he didn't want to turn around just yet, he had to force his mask back on. It wouldn't do to break down in front of Harry. Finally, he turned around. "Hi." He said, looking at Harry and noticing that he looked happy. He turned back around, not sure if he would be able to say what he had to looking at Harry. "Thanks, for coming." He said eventually.

"It's fine." Harry said, going to stand next to Draco. "Did you want to talk about something?" Harry asked, looking out of the window as well.

"Yeah." Draco said. He paused. He didn't know how to start this, he didn't want to hurt Harry but finally he looked at him but then looked away. "You know, I was really surprised when you talked to me last night. I didn't really understand what was happening." He stood up and started to pace up and down. _Just keep moving and talking. Don't look at him, if you look at him you will lose your nerve. This is going to help him, I have to do it. I can't let them get to him. I can't be selfish, he deserves more than me. _Draco thought to himself, convincing himself that this is what he has to do. "And then, this morning, when you walked off, I just began to think about what was happening. You know? And you want us to be friends? You asked me if we are, and I said we are. But we aren't. We never have been, and we never will be." He stopped pacing and looked at Harry. He had said it, he couldn't take it back but as he looked at Harry, he wished he could. There was something in Harry's eyes that Draco had never wanted Harry to feel, especially if it was Draco that had caused him to feel like that.

Harry stared back at him and Draco wanted him to look away, he couldn't bear the look in Harry's eyes. "Has something happened?" Harry asked. _He feels betrayed. It was the best thing to do… _Draco thought to himself, trying yet again to convince himself that what he was doing was the right thing to do. "To make you change your mind." Harry continued.

_Be horrible, make him hate you. "_Were you not listening to what I just said Potter?! We can't be friends. We can't." He looked down at the floor; he couldn't bear to look at Harry anymore.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because..." Draco said, looking up at him. He saw the hurt in Harry's eyes and it was all because of him, he had to convince Harry that it was for the best. He had to make sure Harry understood. "Because of what will happen."

"What?" Harry repeated

"Just listen to me, Potter. I can't be your 'friend'." Draco said, hating himself even more.

"I don't understand" Harry said, confusion evident in his voice.

"Don't understand what? Are you stupid or something?" Draco said, still wanting to get Harry to hate him. _It will be easier for him. _

"Don't even bother." Harry said, finally looking away and sitting down.

"Don't even bother with what?" Draco asked, watching Harry. He was glad that Harry had looked away, he couldn't bear the look in his eyes, but Draco still couldn't tear his eyes away from Harry.

"Insulting me. You've done enough already."

_NO! _Draco screamed at himself, _Make him understand. He has to understand. _"Harry, listen to me. Please." He said, he was surprised at how much true emotion he put into that and was even more surprised when he saw that Harry had noticed this as well. _People never realise…_He thought. "Please, just. I don't want you to get hurt." Draco said, embarrassed at how close he was to breaking down in front of Harry.

Harry smiled weakly at him. "I see."

Draco looked at him. _Does he really understand? Does he really understand why I'm doing this? Stop it Harry, tell me it won't work. Don't let me do this, I need you. _Draco was shocked at what he had just thought. This was the first time he had ever truly needed someone but he knew he did need Harry. Harry would be there for him, would help him _and in return, I will hurt him. _Draco thought bitterly to himself. _If he understands he will do it, we will walk away from each other, go back to the hate. _

"I think it's a crap reason, though." Harry said, looking at Draco.

"What?" Draco asked, shocked and confused.

"It's a crap reason to not be friends with someone, because you're scared."

"I'm not scared." Draco said automatically. _Tell him, he needs to know. _"I'm not scared of us being friends." He said slowly, wondering why it was only Harry that he wanted to tell his true feelings to. "It's what will happen if we are." He said quietly and looked at Harry, willing him to understand.

"What will happen?"

"They will use me, to get to you." Harry just looked at him. "My father…if he knows we are friends…then... They are more powerful than you know, Harry. They know things that hardly anyone does. I'm not scared of us being friends. I just know what will happen if we are and I don't want that to happen. I won't let you get killed because of me."

"I'm going to die anyway." Harry said quietly. "I just want to be happy while I live."

Draco looked at him and then understood what Harry was getting at. "But…if you die, because of me…"

"I won't die because of you. I will die because I'm not as powerful as everyone thinks I am. I will die because it's what is prophesied. I would rather be happy and not worry about what could happen if I am friends with you, than not be friends with you." He shrugged. "I used to think what you are thinking. I wanted to push Hermione and Ron away, so I didn't write to them over the summer, but then, when I saw them on the train I knew there was no point. They are my friends, they are here to help me whether I like it or not. Voldemort killed the people I love, people I don't even know and eventually, he will kill me, but before that time, I want to be happy. I want to be a child. People are forcing me to grow up to quickly. I understand why, they think I will save them and I don't blame them and I wish I could but I don't know if I can. There are people that are important to me and I will not let Voldemort take more of them away. So, if you don't want to be my friend because you are scared of what could happen then so am I, but I'd rather not think about it." Harry stopped and looked at Draco.

Draco looked back at Harry. He was right. There was no point worrying about something that might not even happen, and even if it does he would have had a point in his life where he was with someone who truly knew him. "You're right." Draco said to Harry. "It's just, I know what my father is like and I don't want them to get to you because of me, but I want us to be friends. I've always lived in fear of what could happen, so might as well continue it. Live life on a knife edge." He smiled weakly at Harry. "But, you are wrong as well. You have saved people already Harry, and even if you don't kill Voldemort people will always remember what you did for them."

Harry smiled back. "So, does this make us friends?"

Draco smiled at him, a proper smile. "Unfortunately."

Harry laughed. "Poor you." He paused, "Draco?"

Draco smiled again at Harry using his name. "Yes, Harry?"

"What are you really scared of? Not what could happen if we are friends but other stuff?"

Draco looked at Harry, wondering if he should tell Harry the whole truth, but then decided he had nothing to lose and something was telling him he could trust Harry, and that in a way he needed to tell Harry. "I'm scared of everything. And don't you dare tell anyone that. People don't think I'm scared; I don't let people know I am. But I am, I'm scared of waking up one day and finding out my mother is dead. I'm scared of my father sending for me and me getting the dark mark. I'm scared of what will happen when Dumbledore is no longer here to protect me. I'm scared of losing the three people I truly care for. I'm scared that one day somebody is going to see that everything I do is a lie, that I'm basically living a lie. I'm scared that I'm going to die never knowing true love. I'm scared of my father and what he could do to me(.)," He paused. "And I'm scared that one day I won't have anyone, and that it is because of me they died, and that I could have done something to prevent them dying. But the weird thing is, I'm not scared of dying myself. I know it's going to come I just don't know when." He looked away, embarrassed at how much he had said and the way Harry was looking at him.

"I never knew…" Harry said.

Draco smiled bitterly. "Of course you didn't. We were meant to hate each other. Even Pansy doesn't know it. You are the only person that does…and I'm really not sure why I just told you all of that."

"I'm glad you did." Harry said and then the two boys fell into silence. "So," Harry finally said. "What's with you and Pansy? Are you two going out?"

Draco laughed. "No, but she's amazing. She really is." Draco looked out of the window. "I don't know anyone else quite like her."

"Do you fancy her?" Harry asked.

Draco shook his head. "She is too much of a friend. She's been there when I needed her the most. She's been my first in everything. My first friend, the first person I kissed, first person I had sex with, first person who truly knew me. She has always been there for me, she knows if something is up, but she won't force it out of me. If I don't want to tell her, she accepts it and just sits with me. I love her so much." He shrugged. "Like I said, first of basically everything. She just knows me. I think you would like her" He said smiling.

"O."

Draco laughed. "How about you, who was your first?" He suddenly found himself craving for information about Harry.

Harry blushed. "I haven't…slept with anyone…"

Draco let out a snort of laughter. "Sorry." He said, covering his mouth but still grinning. "Really? Rumours are that you have slept with basically all the girls in our year in Gryffindor."

Harry went even redder. "No!"

"Not even Hermione?!"

"No!"

"Wow, everyone in Slytherin thought that was a sure thing."

"Well, if you must know, she is going out with Ron."

Draco laughed. "Aw, little Harry feel left out?" He said, smiling and loving at how he could mess around with Harry, feel happy and ignore all the things that were outside of the room, waiting for the both of them.

"No, I do not!" Harry said, giving Draco a push. "I am happy for them!"

"Ok ok, so what about your first kiss? You have kissed someone…right?"

"Yes, I have!" Harry said, going red again.

"Well…who was it then?"

"Cho Chang" He muttered.

"Chang?! In Ravenclaw? You fancy her?" He let out another snort of laughter. "I thought you had standards, Harry."

"I did fancy her, but it didn't work out…"

"Why?" Draco asked, controlling the laughter that was threatening to burst out.

"Because of Cedric, she kept crying over him. I think that's the only reason she went for me, because I was there when he was killed…" He stopped and turned away.

"Sorry." Draco said, wishing he hadn't said anything.

"It's fine, honestly."

They sat in another silence, both staring out at the sky. "Do you like anyone at the moment?" Draco asked, holding his breath.

Harry shook his head and he was glad it was dark as otherwise Draco would have seen him blush. "Nope, do you?"

Draco sighed. "No." He said quietly. He wasn't going to tell Harry that he liked him; he didn't want to ruin their new friendship. "It's really late…"

"Yeah, we should probably get going."

Draco nodded. "Listen, Harry. I'm sorry, for you know, but thanks for listening and not walking out on me."

Harry looked at him and Draco couldn't quite read the expression on his face. "It's fine. In a way I'm glad you did it, at least we understand what could happen, and you should know I'm always here Draco."

"Same." They looked at each other and then quickly looked away, both embarrassed. "Well, night." Draco said, turning to walk out of the room.

"Night Draco." He heard Harry say as he walked out of the room. He walked down towards the Slytherin common room, amazed at how things had turned out, and knowing that this is what he needed. "I need Harry James Potter." He said out loud and laughed softly.

**Thank you again to all my wonderful reviewers. Keep them coming, I love getting them! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: JKR owns everything! **

**Harry**

Harry watched Draco walk out of the room, and a smile spread across his face. This is what he wanted: someone who he could talk to about anything. He walked slowly to his dormitory, just thinking about the way Draco's face lit up when he laughed, and how Draco seemed to trust him as much as Harry trusted Draco. Harry entered the common room and sank into a chair. He closed his eyes, and his mind was filled with pictures of Draco. He pictured the way he looked when smiled, when he was embarrassed and when he let Harry see the real him. All he wanted to do was hold Draco in his arms, but at the same time he was scared of telling Draco how he really felt about him. He didn't want to push him away. He sighed and opened his eyes and came face to face with Hermione.

"Well, Harry," Hermione said, smiling at him, "Why are you up so late?"

He gave her a smile in return. "Same question to you." He replied, moving over so she could sit next to him.

She shrugged. "I couldn't sleep." She smiled again and sank into the seat next to him.

"Same. I went for a walk and met…"

She looked at him. "Who?"

Harry looked away and shrugged. "Nobody."

"No way are you doing this to me, Harry James Potter! Who did you see?" She asked, grinning at him.

"No. it's not like that, I just bumped into Dra…Malfoy."

"Did he cause trouble?" Hermione interrogated him.

Harry shook his head. "No." He paused. "I think that he's changed." He said after a while.

Hermione stared at him as if he had grown another head. "Malfoy, changed? I don't think so Harry. Why do you think that?"

Harry sighed, wishing he had never mentioned he had met Draco. "I don't know, he doesn't want to start fights anymore."

Hermione smiled. "Just means he's grown up Harry. People get tired of picking fights all the time. He's still the same, still has the same views, feelings. Well, non existent feelings. Maybe he just has better things to do now, rather than picking on you. Maybe he's been told to do something for you know who."

Harry looked at Hermione and realized how different he had become to his two best friends. They were caught up in each other; still obsessing over Voldemort. He had grown used to the fact that it was either going to be him or Voldemort that lived. Over the summer he had sorted things out in his mind. He refused to think about Sirius, and just thought about the prophecy and what it meant. He knew that he wasn't ready to defeat Voldemort, but he also knew that in time he would be. He just wasn't sure if he would be given that time. He didn't tell anything to Ron and Hermione anymore, he didn't want to worry them, especially as they now had each other. He hadn't even told them about the prophecy. He looked away, wishing he could have his childhood back. Draco was the only one he could truly talk to and it shocked Harry at how comfortable this realization was to him.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, looking at Harry and seeing how much he had grown up over the summer. _He's leaving us behind. _She suddenly thought to herself and sighed sadly. "I'm sorry Harry."

"For what?" He asked, continuing to stare in front of him.

"For not being there for you." She looked at him, wishing he would open up to her like he once would have. "When you needed us over the summer, we... I wasn't there. I wrote letters, Harry, but your replies were so distant. I should have tried harder to see you." Tears started to fill her eyes. "I miss him too, Harry. You can talk to me, I'm here for you. You know that, don't you?" She questioned, putting her hand on top of his.

Harry finally turned to look at her. He could see she was truly sorry, but he couldn't understand what for. "You have nothing to apologise for Hermione. I'm sorry I didn't write properly, I just had things to sort out. I know you're there for me Hermione." He pulled his hand away. "I think I'm going to go bed. Goodnight." He stood up and walked towards his dormitory. "Hermione." He said, stopping suddenly and turning around.

"Yes?" She asked, looking up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I…" He stopped, and looked at her, seeing how vulnerable she was. "It doesn't matter." He finally said, giving her a small smile and going up the stairs.

Hermione sighed and watched him go. "Yes, it does Harry. It's killing you." She said quietly and brushed away the tears that had finally started to fall.

Harry woke up late the next morning, and stared up at his ceiling, a grin spreading over his face as he remembered Draco. He slowly got up, got ready, and walked down into the common room, where he saw Hermione and Ron making out on the sofa.

"They should really get a room, shouldn't they?" A voice remarked behind him.

"Ginny?" Harry inquired, turning around and looking at her.

She gave him a small smile. "Hey, Harry."

"I thought that…"

"That I was never going to talk to you for the rest of my life?" She nodded. "Yeah, I thought that too, but, I'm not going to lose you as a friend as well." She looked at him. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted…I was just so sure that you liked me back, and when you said you didn't, I just couldn't think of anything else. But slowly, I realized that I had acted like a complete and utter idiot. I shouldn't have reacted like that but it hurt me to hear the truth." She looked up at him and gave him another small smile. "Friends?" She asked, offering her hand to him.

He grinned at her. "Of course, I shouldn't have given out the wrong signals...I'm sorry Ginny…"

"It's fine. Honestly." She said grinning back at him.

He pulled her into a hug. "Good, because with these two together I really need people to talk to."

She laughed, "You want to go and get some breakfast?"

He nodded, happy that Ginny was talking to him, and the two of them made their way down to the Great Hall laughing and joking as if nothing had ever happened. As they entered Harry looked straight at the Slytherin table, and saw Draco surrounded by his friends. Harry sighed, wishing that he had the freedom to be able to be with Draco in front of everyone. He turned back and sat down next to Ginny, and started to pile food onto his plate.

"Are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?" He heard Ginny asking him.

He stared at her, "I didn't even realise that there was a Hogsmeade weekend coming up."

She smiled at him, and Harry noticed just how beautiful she had become, and a surge of guilt went through him as he remembered how he had hurt her There had always been something in the back of his mind telling him that he would end up with Ginny. He had watched her grow into the young women that she now was, and he knew that everyone expected him to be with her. Even now, even after he had told her how he felt; people still wanted him to ask her out: for them to be a couple.

He couldn't do it, he loved her as a friend, and he knew that it would never evolve into anything different, especially now after he was getting to know Draco properly. Draco made Harry feel something he never thought he would feel. Harry knew that he was falling for Draco, and fast and it hurt him even more to know that Draco didn't feel like that towards him. Every time Draco looked at Harry there was an emotion in his eyes that Harry couldn't read, and he doubted he ever would. Draco would always be guarded against him, it was the way he had been brought up to be but at the same time he was showing Harry a side of him that no-one else knew. Harry wanted Draco in ways he had never wanted anyone else before, not even Cho, and Harry wasn't sure how long he would be able to keep his true emotions hidden.

Harry nodded as Ginny talked to him about the next Hogsmeade weekend and then realized

that she expected an answer. "Erm, I don't know." He finally said and saw that this wasn't the answer that Ginny had wanted.

"I didn't mean together Harry. Just as friends, I mean, Ron and Hermione will be going together. I know you don't like me like that, but…"

He looked at her and realized she had just asked if he wanted to go to Hogsmeade with her. "Sorry, I would love to go with you." He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"Good, I don't want our friendship to be ruined." She whispered and started to eat again.

He nodded and looked up towards the Slytherin table and saw Draco looking at him with a peculiar look in his eye. Harry gave him a small smile, but Draco just looked away, said something to his friends and started to eat again. Harry sighed, wondering what was up with Draco.

"You ready to go, Ginny?" Harry urged when he finished his breakfast.

"I'm going to stick around and talk to Lavender. I'll catch up with you later." She answered, giving him a quick hug.

He got up and walked towards Gryffindor common room, hands in his pocket.

"Is the Potter, and the Weasel finally going out?" A harsh voice said, as Harry was half way up the stairs. "Imagine the kids." He paused as a smirk came over his face. "However, I suppose it is one better than the other Weasel and the mudblood."

Harry turned around and saw Blaise standing there, sneering up at him with Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle with him. He sighed, he really didn't need this.

"No, we aren't going out." He said, turning to go back up the stairs.

"The Weasel has some sense then," Blaise continued, "Hear she's the biggest slut in our school, after you of course." He sneered.

Harry stopped and turned round again. He looked at Draco who was looking everywhere but at him. _He's not going to stand up for me. _Harry realized. "What are you going on about, Blaise?" Harry glared at Slytherins.

They started to walk up the stairs towards him. "The weasel girl has gotten round a bit. Offers her services, but we all know it's you she really wants, and we all know she is the one person you haven't slept with. I wonder why? Scared she will be better than you." He snorted. "Although, to be honest with you Potter, it amazes me that you either of you are actually getting some. When you look as you do, and the Weasel is who she is... However, she is properly getting paid...it's probably the only income her family gets."

Harry stared at him, wondering if what Blaise was saying about Ginny was true. He realized he didn't know a single thing about what Ginny did when she wasn't with him and his friends, but he had always heard rumours going around the school, but he had never believed them. "Shut up Blaise, you have no idea what you're talking about." He eventually spat, wishing that Draco would look at him.

"Ah, but you see, I do. In fact, I've gone for a ride myself."

Harry blinked in surprise, and finally Draco looked up at him, but Harry couldn't see anything in his eyes. There were no emotions, no hate, no anger, no happiness, and no love. As Harry continued to look, Draco's face clouded over, and the hate that Harry was used to seeing returned

**Draco**

Draco stared at his breakfast plate as he thought about the conversation with Harry last night. He couldn't get the boy out of his head, everywhere he turned he thought he saw him. He could hear Pansy talking to him, but he wasn't listening. Harry had given him hope that Draco could still live the life that he wanted. He wanted to be happy and with Harry he knew this would happen, even if they did just stay friends, at least he would have someone that truly knew him. He sighed and jabbed his fork at the bacon that lay on his plate. He wanted to tell Harry how he really felt but he was scared of being rejected. Harry trusted him and he didn't want to throw that away.

"Draco, what's wrong?" Pansy asked him, as she watched him play with the bacon.

He looked up at her and saw concern in her eyes. "Nothing Pansy." He replied, giving her a quick smile. He suddenly felt a calmness come over him and looked towards the door where Harry and Ginny Weasley had just entered. He looked away quickly but felt Harry look at him. He knew that last night Harry had said he didn't like anyone but Draco had often heard people saying that Harry and Ginny were destined to go out; that they both really liked each other but neither had the guts to tell the other. Everyone with a pair of eyes could tell that Ginny was crazy over Harry and most people thought Harry returned those feelings. He threw down his fork in disgust and pushed his plate away as he realized he wasn't feeling hungry anymore.

"I just wish you would tell me Draco. You used to tell me everything…"

Draco looked up at Pansy when he noticed she was still talking to her. "Sorry." He said, not really registering what she was saying but he could tell from the tone of her voice she was upset about something. He looked away from her and stared at Harry. Ginny was talking to him and kept touching his arm, obviously trying to get his attention.

"Are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?" Pansy suddenly asked him.

He tore his eyes away from Harry and looked down at his plate and shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

"You want to go together? As friends I mean, it's just we haven't really had any time together recently Draco. You always seem so distant and I…I just want us to talk again, like we used to."

He looked towards her and gave her a small smile. "Sure, Pansy. If you want."

She gave him a smile in return and went back to eating her meal. Draco sighed silently. He didn't want to go with Pansy. He didn't even want to go. For some reason he was scared of leaving the castle and he wasn't even sure why. But, on the other hand he didn't want to push Pansy away. He understood what she meant, he hadn't talked to her properly in a while and he missed that too but at the same time he couldn't help thinking that he had Harry now and that was the only person he truly wanted. He looked back at Harry, wishing that Harry would just understand how he felt so he wouldn't have to tell him. He had been taught from a young age that Malfoy's never told anyone how they really felt about them. As he looked at Harry, Harry looked straight back at him. Draco blinked in surprise and saw Harry give him a small smile. He looked away, unable to make any movement back at Harry.

Draco finished his breakfast and watched as Harry left the room, his hands deep in his pockets. He stood up to go as well, bored of just sitting there. "I'm going to go back to the common room." He said to his friends and stood up. Pansy and Blaise stood up as well. "You don't always have to follow me." Draco said to them, rolling his eyes.

Blaise shrugged. "We've all finished, might as well all go back together."

Draco didn't say anything and they made their way out of the Great Hall. As they made their way out they saw Harry walking up the stairs. Draco groaned inwardly. He knew what was going to happen and he knew he would have to go back to acting like he hated Harry. Blaise nudged Draco and winked at him.

"Ready for some fun?" Blaise invited Draco, grinning evilly.

"Don't you think we've grown out of this by now?" Draco queried him in a bored tone.

Blaise just laughed. "Draco, are you feeling alright?" He looked up at Harry. "Is the Potter and the Weasel finally going out?" He called up to Harry. "Imagine the kids." He continued, "However, I suppose it is one better than the other Weasel and the mudblood."

Harry turned around and looked at them all. Draco just wanted to turn and run away. He wasn't ready for this; he wasn't ready to go back to pretending.

"No, we aren't going out." Was all Harry said, turning to go back up the stairs.

"The Weasel has some sense then." Blaise vocalized. "Hear she's the biggest slut in our school, after you of course." He sneered.

Draco blinked; everyone had heard the stories about Ginny. Harry stopped and turned around again. Draco didn't dare look at Harry but he could feel Harry looking at him. He couldn't stand to see the hate that would be in Harry's eyes if he did look at him. Draco just wanted to walk away, but he knew he couldn't. So he just stayed there, hoping that Blaise would leave it alone soon.

"What are you going on about Blaise?" Harry demanded, glaring at them.

Blaise started to walk up the stairs slowly and Draco realized he would have to go up too. "The weasel girl has gotten round a bit. Offers her services, but we all know it's you she really wants and we all know she is the one person you haven't slept with. I wonder why? Scared she will be better than you." Blaise snorted. "Although, to be honest with you Potter, it amazes me that you either of you are actually getting some. When you look as you do and the Weasel is who she is... However, she is properly getting paid...it's probably the only income her family gets."

Draco's eyes widened in surprise, Blaise and he had always laughed about what they had heard about the Gryffindors, in fact some of the rumours they had even started themselves but he knew he would never bring these up in front of Harry. Especially now. He wanted to stand in front of Blaise and tell him to stop, but he couldn't. Things would get back to his father, and he didn't even want to begin to think what his father would do to him.

Harry didn't say anything and just stared at them. "Shut up Blaise, you have no idea what you're talking about." He eventually breathed.

"Ah, but you see I do. In fact, I've gone for a ride myself."

Draco groaned silently. What Blaise was saying was the truth, but he had hoped that none of the Gryffindors would ever find that out. He saw Harry blink in surprise and he could tell that Harry was hurt. All Draco wanted to do was hold him and tell him to ignore Blaise, but he just stood there and stared at Harry, not letting any emotions onto his face. But as Harry continued to stare at him, so did the others. He forced the hate back onto his face. The hate he wished he had never been told to feel. Harry continued to stare at him and Draco knew he had to say something, anything, to get the others to stop looking at him as well.

"What are you looking at Potter?" He sneered at Harry and turned around, letting his true emotions come onto his face.

He knew that the rest of his friends were following him and as he turned the corner he looked back and Harry was still standing there, staring at him. Draco snapped his head back and stared at the floor as he walked down the corridor. He heard the others talking around him, but he couldn't register what they were saying. He had hurt Harry by not standing up for him. _He has to realize who I am. I'm still Draco Malfoy. I have to be who my father taught me to be, I can't just switch. I can't. _Draco lifted his head and saw they had reached their common room; he muttered the password and the five of them stepped into the room.

Everyone saw them and moved away from the seats around the fire. _They are scared of us. Of me, they know what would happen if they turned against us. We are all meant to be friends, but how can you be friends with people you are scared of. This isn't unity. They all look up to me; they do exactly what I tell them to. _He sank into a chair and watched everyone in the room. They had no idea what was going to happen to them. They had been brought up to believe that they were safe; they were on the 'winning side'. They had been brought up to think that killing someone just because they are not pure-blood is an ok thing to do. _Just like I have. _Draco thought to himself.

"Draco, are you even listening to us?" Blaise interrupted Draco's thoughts.

"Yes." Was all he said. He caught Pansy's eyes and he knew that she wanted him to talk to her, but he knew he couldn't. He could trust Pansy with most things, he knew that, but he knew he couldn't tell her everything he felt: it was too risky.

"Ok, well as I was saying, I got an owl from my father this morning." Blaise continued and Draco looked towards Blaise, wondering why he sounded so excited.

"And…" Draco trailed off, making his voice sound bored so he could hide the fact that he was scared of knowing what was in the letter.

Blaise lowered his voice, "He says that things are moving quicker than they expected."

"What things?" Pansy grilled.

"I don't know; he wouldn't tell me. He just said that things are going very well and that things will start to be changing for the better."

They all looked at Draco, thinking that he would have heard exactly what is happening. Draco looked at each of their eager faces in turn. They were all excited, even Pansy. "Well, I don't know what they are planning to do." He grumbled and they all leaned back in their chairs, disappointed.

They sat in silence, all thinking about what was going to happen. Draco stared into the fire; wondering how soon was soon, and if he would even make it out of his sixth year alive.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here is the next chapter; extremely sorry for how long it has taken! A massive thank you to my BETA, everfire! Hope you enjoy this chapter now...read and review!**

**Harry**

Harry didn't talk to Draco for a few days after Blaise had spoken to Harry. He didn't know if Draco was avoiding him for some reason, or if it was just coincidence, but Harry never saw him to ask him. Every time he did see him it was in lessons, and Draco was always being followed by his friends. Harry didn't dare go near him then. Harry was beginning to feel left out of his friends and he found himself spending more and more time with Ginny. He always felt people were talking about them when they were together, but Ginny always told him to stop being stupid. They were just friends and people could think what they liked. Harry agreed with her, but he couldn't shake the feeling that people thought they were going out. When he was with Ron and Hermione they were always trying to get him with someone but the only person he wanted to be with was Draco. Harry knew that he couldn't even tell Ron and Hermione that he actually had a friendship with Draco now. He certainly knew he couldn't tell them that he wanted more than that with Draco. They would think Draco was plotting something against him; they would never accept Draco for what he was. They would just see him for what he had done.

It was Saturday morning and Harry was lying in his bed, staring at his ceiling, regretting the fact that he had said he would go to Hogsmeade with Ginny. He sat up and moved to the edge of his bed, staring out of his window. He stood up and walked into the bathroom where he stared at his reflection in the mirror. As he looked he realized how much he had changed. Not on the outside, he still looked the same but there was something different about him.

He had grown up over the summer, leaving behind the Harry that wanted to be in the middle of all adventures and in his place stood someone who was tired of everything. Tired of losing the ones he loved. Tired of being the 'chosen one' and tired of having to lie to everyone all the time. He looked at his eyes and noticed there was no spark in them. The bright emerald green everyone had always talked about had disappeared and was replaced with a duller green. This scared Harry, but at the same time he knew when it had left him.

"When Sirius died." He said quietly and closed his eyes, finally letting Sirius back into his memories. Harry had always thought that Sirius would be the one to save him and look after him. But Sirius had been taken away from him, without any warning, no signs to tell Harry that his last hope was about to disappear.

He opened his eyes and stared back into his reflection. All he could see now was a scared little boy, wondering why everyone wanted him to grow up so quickly. He blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall and splashed some water onto his face. He took one last look at the person he had become and walked slowly down to breakfast.

Harry pushed the food around his plate, not wanting to eat it. He felt someone sit next to him and he looked up into Ron's smiling face.

"Hey, mate." Ron said, grabbing the food nearest to him and piling it on to his plate. "You alright? I haven't seen you in awhile."

Harry nodded and forced a bit of egg into his mouth. "Yeah, I'm fine thanks, Ron. How are things with you and Hermione?"

Ron grinned at him, his face coming alight with just the mention of her name. "Seriously mate, it's amazing. She's amazing. I've never felt like this about anyone before. Not that I've really had that many options but then I guess it's because it's always been her. She makes me feel, I don't know, I can't even think of the word! You need to get some of this action Harry! Not with Hermione of course, but you know, someone."

Harry smiled properly. "You've got it bad."

Ron blushed and nodded. "I know." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled again. "You're going to Hogsmeade with Ginny today?"

Harry nodded and looked down at his plate, not wanting Ron to see how badly he didn't want to go with her.

"I thought you didn't like her." Ron went on, eating his breakfast.

"I do. Well, as a friend anyway. Nothing more, we're just going as friends."

"O." Ron paused.

Harry looked at him, and could tell that Ron was wondering if he should tell Harry something or not. "What is it Ron?" Harry questioned cautiously.

"Well, it's just that, I mean, don't go off on one it's just, I heard that you and her are together together. Which you know, at first I laughed off with you apparently not liking her like that, but then everyone started to say you were, and I always saw you with her and then I heard you were going to Hogsmeade with her" He trailed off when he saw the anger flickering in Harry's eyes.

"You mean everyone thinks we are going out?"

Ron nodded slowly.

"And why do people think that?" Inquired Harry with a dangerous tone to his voice, his hands clenching into fists.

"I don't know, maybe it's just a rumour."

"Yeah well, I'm sick of all these rumours that go around about me Ron. Especially when they aren't true." Harry practically yelled the last sentence and a number of heads turned in their direction.

"Harry mate, calm down."

"Who started it Ron?" Harry grilled, pushing his plate away from him.

"I don't know. I just heard it." Ron replied, scared at the way Harry was reacting.

"Did Ginny?" Harry asked, speaking through clenched teeth.

"She wouldn't do that. At least, I don't think she would."

Harry glared at him. "Come on, people are leaving for Hogsmeade" Harry uttered, standing up.

Ron was surprised at the way Harry had just changed the subject but stood up anyway. He followed Harry out of the hall and the two of them stood in the line as Filch checked over everyone that was leaving the castle.

In front of them, Harry could see the back of Draco's head and just the sight of him made him relax. _It's just a rumour. _He thought to himself, _I'll ask Ginny if she knows anything about it and then we will laugh about it and tell everyone we are just friends. _As Harry was standing there, Draco turned around with a look of pure sadness in his eyes and the ghosts of unshed tears shadowed his dull eyes but when his eyes met with Harry's they turned to anger and Draco's eyes frosted over so they almost looked like ice. Harry gasped at the look he was receiving from Draco, and the worst thing was he couldn't do anything about it, that look wasn't allowing him to move. Draco was just staring at him, as if he was looking straight into Harry's soul.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Ron quarried and finally Draco looked away. Harry moved his head so he was looking at Ron. "Harry, are you alright? You don't look to good."

"What? No, I'm fine." Harry muttered, nodding his head.

Ron just shrugged his shoulders and the two of them made their way to Hogsmeade. "I'm meeting up with Hermione in a bit." Ron mentioned as they stepped into Honeydukes.

"Yeah, I'm meant to be meeting up with Ginny."

Ron looked at Harry, "You don't look to happy about that mate."

Harry placed some peppermint toads back onto the shelves and turned towards Ron. "I am, I think, I don't know. Don't you think it's just a little weird that everyone seems to think that me and her are going out? When I haven't said anything like that to anyone. And also, she said she didn't want to talk to me after I told her how I really felt, but then suddenly she wants to be friends again after just a couple of days. It's just weird."

"Do you really think Ginny would do that?" Ron whispered quietly.

"I don't know Ron." Harry sighed.

"Look, Ginny is my little sister; I know what she is like. I really don't think she would do this. I honestly don't think she has it in her. What would she get from doing it? It doesn't make sense."

Harry gave a snort of laughter. "What would she get from doing it? Oh come on Ron. What has been splashed across the papers since what happened at the ministry? 'Harry Potter, the chosen one.' Anyone linked with me is going to have stories written on them. I can imagine it now, 'Ginny Weasley. Girlfriend to the chosen one.' Blah blah, and so it goes on and on. She's changed Ron, I've heard thingsshe's not who I thought she was." He shook his head and looked at Ron. He could see that he had hurt Ron by saying this about his sister but for some reason he just didn't care. "If I'm wrong then I apologize, but I don't know that until I ask her."

Ron just looked at Harry with a strange look in his eye. "I can't believe you would think that one of your best mates would do that Harry. I don't know what is going through your mind at the moment. I've got to go and see Hermione. I hope you figure out what is happening, and you realize Ginny would never do this." He gave Harry one last look and walked out of the shop.

Harry watched him go and let out a groan of frustration. He walked out of the shop and turned towards the three broomsticks where he had arranged to meet Ginny. He stopped with his hand on the door handle and took a deep breath. He pushed open the door and saw Ginny sitting on a table in the corner. He made his way over to her, forcing a smile onto his face. "Hey Ginny." He said when he reached her.

She looked up at him and gave him a huge smile. "Hey Harry, I was starting to think you wouldn't turn up!"

He gave a little laugh and sat down opposite her. "Yeah, sorry. I was talking to Ron."

"Its fine, I don't mind. I ordered you a butterbeer." She pushed the drink towards him and gave him smile.

He couldn't gather the energy to smile back at her and so settled for taking a sip of his butterbeer. He sat there, occasionally glancing at Ginny who would smile at him and then look around the three Broomsticks. He looked towards the door as it opened and saw Draco enter with Pansy. He could feel his heart start to beat faster when Draco looked over at him with the same look in his eye as he had earlier. Harry watched as Pansy whispered something in his ear and the two of them sat at a table near them. All Harry wanted to do was go over, push Pansy out of her seat, sit with Draco, and talk to him but he knew he couldn't. He finally tore his eyes away from the pair of them when Pansy caught him looking and gave him a glare. He became aware of Ginny talking to him and he looked up at her when he felt her hand on his.

"People just keep talking about it." Ginny said and gave a laugh.

"Keep talking about what?" Harry asked her, taking his hand away from hers.

She gave him a look that was a mixture of confusion and hope. "Us."

"There is no us." He said shortly.

"Well, I know that and you know that but everyone else seems to think there is."

"And I'm guessing you have been doing nothing to stop them saying this." He said his voice low.

"No..." She trailed off when she saw the look of anger on his face.

"So, basically, people have been saying we are going out, when we aren't. I hope you do actually realize that, and you aren't living in your own little world. But, the question is...how did they come to this conclusion?" He paused and looked at her but carried on without giving her a chance to say anything. "You see, my theory is that you started this little 'rumor', but then, if this is the case, why would you do that? I thought we were friends."

"We are friends, Harry." She grabbed hold of his hand and kept hold of it when he tried to pull away from her. "People just came to the conclusion on their own, maybe...when they saw me coming out of your room crying they thought we had had a fight...and then...when they saw us together the other day they thought we had gotten together."

"Bullshit, Ginny." He finally ripped his hand away from hers. "If you were my friend you wouldn't have spread some crap rumor about us going out, we never were and we definitely never will. Who the hell does this type of thing to their friends?!"

She glared at him. "Well, who the hell rejects me? Nobody has ever done that Harry. Nobody. I really liked you and you liked me. Then you just throw it back in my face!"

He stood up and slammed his hands on the table. "So you started some stupid rumor about us going out because I REJECTED YOU? You are truly pathetic."

"I am not pathetic." Ginny growled, standing up and glaring at him, her voice low and filled with anger. "You are the one that rejected me. Me! Anyone would love to be in your shoes. You should be happy that people thought we are going out. We are the perfect couple. Everyone thinks so!"

Harry let out a snort of laughter. "Listen to yourself!" He turned to go and looked back at her. "I'll see you around Ginny." He walked towards the door, ignoring the curious looks he was getting from every angle. As soon as he left the three broomsticks he made his way to the Shrieking Shack.

"Hey Potter." A familiar voice drawled behind him.

**Draco **

Draco sat down next to Pansy at the breakfast table and looked towards the teachers table where he saw Snape sitting. He needed to talk to Snape, ask him what was happening but at the same time, he didn't want to find out. He had been hearing things from everyone in his house about them getting letters from their parents telling them the things were going well. Yet, nobody knew what the 'things' were. This scared Draco in a way he never would have imagined. He had always been in the loop, his father had always confided in him but he had heard nothing from his father in so long.

"Oh, Draco! Have you heard?"

Draco turned his head towards Pansy, "Heard what Pansy?"

She giggled, "About Potter and the Weaselette. It seems they finally got together."

Draco felt his stomach drop. "Really. What have you heard?" grilled, trying to keep the bored tone to his voice.

"Well, apparently, the other day they had a fight where Weasel said to Potter that she wanted to tell everyone about them, but Potter refused, saying he didn't want everyone to be jealousso she ran out of his room crying but then, they finally made it up the other day and he said sorry and the Weaselette told her friends who then told everyone that they are in love." She gave Draco a grin. "It's funny how the biggest losers always seem to find each other."

Draco just nodded at her and looked over at the Gryffindor table where it looked like Ron was having difficulty trying to keep Harry calm., "Come on Pansy."

"What, I haven't finished my breakfast" She trailed off when he stood up and looked down at her with a look that truly scared her. "Ok, I'm coming." She conceded quietly.

They walked out of the Hall together and immediately joined the queue for Hogsmeade. After a while Draco sensed that Harry was somewhere nearby him and all he could think about was that Harry had lied to him.

He knew that Pansy heard a lot of things, but she only ever told Draco what was true. He didn't know how Pansy found out the things she did around the school, but he was glad he had someone who would tell him what was going on.

He thought that he could trust Harry, but apparently that wasn't the case. He wanted to scream at Harry, but he knew this wouldn't achieve anything. He wanted to know why Harry had lied to him after everything they had talked about. _He flat out lied to my face. _Draco thought and he turned around and looked straight at Harry, forgetting to make sure no emotions where coming through. When Harry looked back at him, all Draco could feel was anger. He wanted to look away, but for some reason he couldn't. He just stood there; staring at Harry as if he was the only person in the room. He finally looked away when he saw Ron nudge Harry and ask him something. He couldn't deal with people that lied to him and he definitely didn't have time for people who kept messing with his head. He stared ahead and just nodded to the things that Pansy was saying to him on their way to Hogsmeade.

They walked around for a bit, visiting all the places there, not really talking, but Draco could tell Pansy was glad they were there together.

"Are you ok, Draco?" Pansy appealed him, as they made their way to the Three Broomsticks.

He nodded his head at her, "Yes. Just a bit worriedabout things."

"Have you still not heard anything from your father?"

"No. I don't think I really want to"

She linked her arm through his, "Don't worry about it, Draco. You know what I always say, only worry about things when they are actually upon us. Otherwise, you could be worrying about something that will never happen." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and put her hand on the door handle.

"Yes, but we both know it will happen, Pansy."

She gave him a smile. "But we don't know when. Come on." She pushed the door open and the two of them walked into the Three Broomsticks.

Draco immediately felt himself looking over at Harry. He didn't know what to do; he didn't want to stay here, not if Harry was so close to him.

"Draco, lets go sit over there. Near to Potter and his girlfriend, never know what you might hear." She giggled and pulled Draco over to the table near to Harry.

Draco sat down and refused to let himself look at the pair. He allowed Pansy to do most of the talking but he could feel a pair of eyes on them. "Is Potter staring at us, Pansy?" He asked her, still not wanting to look over at him.

Pansy looked in the direction of Harry and Ginny and gave a small nod. "You know, they do make me feel sick."

"Why?"

"Just look at them." She whispered. "It's disgusting. I don't know who would even want to go near her with the amount of boys she's been with."

"Potter apparently." He said quietly and took a sip of his butterbeer. "Look, can we just go. I don't want to be in the company of people like that." He moved his head towards Harry and Ginny, but Pansy didn't make a reply. "Pansy"

"Oh! This is good, we can't leave now, Draco!" Pansy uttered excitedly.

"Why? What is happening?" He leaned forward, trying to listen into their conversation.

"Mmm, seems they are having a lovers tiff." She laughed. "He just said 'there is no us.' She doesn't look very happy."

"What are they saying now?" Draco asked, keeping his voice low, and refusing to look in Harry's direction.

"I can't really hear. Potter has lowered his voicehe doesn't look too happy though."

Draco finally allowed himself to look at Harry and when he did, he wanted to laugh out loud. Harry looked furious and was spitting words out at Ginny. He watched as Ginny grabbed Harry's hand and wouldn't let it go. He wanted to get her off of him, but he knew he couldn't do anything.

"Oh. My. God. Can you believe that, Draco?! She made it up. She is amazingly twisted. It's such a slytherin thing to do." Draco raised an eyebrow at her. "Not that I would do itbut you know, do something for your own gain, and not caring if it hurts your friends."

"Yes, I guess you're right." He looked over again when he heard Harry slam his fists onto the table.

"He's rather sexy when he's angry." Pansy said quietly, watching Ginny and Harry.

"What?" Draco stuttered out, as he had been thinking the exact thing.

"Well, he's not ugly is he and when he's angry. He looks like this when you two stand off against each other."

"Does he? I've never noticed..." Draco said quietly, trying to stop himself from blushing.

"Well, of course you haven't. You're not gay." She gave him a quick grin and went back to looking at Harry and Ginny. "Ooo, he's leaving."

Draco watched as Harry made his way out of the Three Broomsticks and he realized he had to go after him. "Pansy, I just remembered that I said I would meet someone. I'll see you back at Hogwarts."

"But you said we could spend the day together" Pansy looked down, away from him.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. Another time, ok?"

She just nodded at him and Draco made his way towards the Shrieking Shack when he saw Harry heading in that direction.

"Hey Potter." Draco called out, finally deciding to make his self noticed. He watched as Harry stopped and turned around to face him. As Draco looked at him he could see in Harry's eyes the amount of hurt and anger that he was feeling. Draco cautiously stepped towards him. "Are you ok?" He asked quietly, not looking away from Harry's face.

Harry looked back at him and nodded slowly. "Yes." He paused and continued to look at Draco with the same look in his eyes. "Why were you following me?"

"I wasn't following you exactly."

"What were you doing exactly then?" Harry asked him.

"I saw that you looked upset and wanted to make sure you were ok." Draco said, wishing that Harry would stop looking at him like he was.

Harry finally gave him a weak smile, "I'm fine."

Draco snorted, "Of course you are."

Harry sighed. "I don't see why you care anyway, considering the fact that you haven't talked to me for the past week and when you look at mewell, you look at me as if I'm dirt."

"I've hardly seen you all week."

"You admit to looking at me as if you hate me then?" Harry said quietly. He turned around and leant against the fence that cut off the Shrieking shack.

"I don't hate you." Draco said slowly. "I just...heard stuff."

Harry turned to face him. "Heard what?"

Draco looked towards the shack, avoiding Harry's eyes. "Stuff that made me think you lied to mewhen I told you the truth. I just thought we were over everything, but apparently we weren't...aren't" He stopped and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I over reacted, it doesn't matter now anyway."

"Why?" Harry asked quietly.

Draco finally turned and looked at him in the eyes. "Why? Because...after your run in with Blaise, it showed me, it showed me how different our lives our. The paths set out for us. Nobody will accept the fact we are friends. More bad would come out of it than good. Don't you see that, Harry? Can't you see it?" Draco begged him silently with his eyes, hoping Harry would understand.

Harry gave him a shaky smile. "You are such an idiot, Malfoy." He muttered and turned away from him.

Draco blinked at him. "What? You have no right to call me an idiot, Potter. Especially when I'm not one."

Harry laughed, "Yes you are. You don't see that you can do what you want: be friends with who you want to be. Even if you can't tell a lot of people about it. I want to be friends with you Draco." He stopped and looked at Draco. "The question is...do you want to be friends with me?"

Harry grinned at him and Draco saw how vulnerable Harry was, how much he needed someone there for him. In that moment Draco could feel himself falling in love with Harry. "I suppose I can lower my standards just this once." He said, but gave Harry a smile, and as Harry smiled back at him, Draco knew this is what he truly wanted from his life, however long it was. He wanted to be by Harry's side, whether it be just as friends, or more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Here is the next chapter, a lot quicker than the last one! Thank you to my amazing Beta everfire! You are a great help! **

**You know what to do... **

**Harry**

"Do you think we can do it?" Draco asked Harry when they were sitting together by the lake. The stars shined down on them both, sending sparkles dancing in their hair and making patterns appear on the surface of the lake.

"Do what?" Harry replied, skimming stones across the surface of the lake.

"This. Be friends and not let anyone know."

Harry shrugged. He wanted it to work. He didn't want to lose Draco, but he wasn't sure how long he would be able to lie to his friends for. "Maybe we could let some people know." He said slowly, turning to face Draco.

Draco raised an eyebrow at him, "Yes, let's shout it out to the whole school. 'I'm friends with Harry Potter.' Hey, how long do you think it would take until I'm killed?"

Harry gave him a push, "No, I meant…tell certain people."

"You don't want to lie to Hermione and Ron." Harry shook his head, "Well, I guess it's fair enough, as they are your best friends. Do you honestly think they would believe it though?" Draco asked him and Harry was surprised at how quickly Draco could guess exactly what he was thinking.

"Of course they would," Harry replied, but as he said it he had a feeling of doubt come over him. He paused, "Don't you think they would then?"

Draco shook his head. "No. Of course not you idiot. 'Hey Hermione and Ron, you know Malfoy? Yeah well, after all this time, we've actually become friends.' And do you know what their reaction will be to that Harry? 'Oh Harry!' 'He's a ferret!' 'Can you trust him?' 'Yeah, I bet he's plotting against you. He's going to kill you'!" Draco snorted, "It will go down well my friend."

Harry laughed, "It's kind of scary how well you know them."

"I've hated them for a long time. You have to know everything about your enemies. You have to know them so well that you can judge what they will do next." Harry gave him a look, which clearly said he believed that Draco was thinking far too much about it. "I've grown up with that being taught to me. Its one of the few things that's true. The whole, keep your friends close and your enemies' closer thing."

"Maybe that's right, but they are my friends, I can't not tell them."

"Why?" Draco quipped him simply.

"Because…" Harry began, but realized he had nothing to finish that sentence with.

"It's because you feel like you have to. You don't want to. You want to keep me all to yourself." Draco grinned and winked at Harry provocatively.

Harry felt himself blush and gave a small laugh. _You don't know how much. _Harry thought to himself. "Yeah well, why don't you feel like you have to tell your friends?" Draco raised his eyebrow again at Harry. "Don't do that, makes me feel stupid," Harry muttered and looked away from Draco and up towards the castle.

"Well, if you must ask stupid questions…Like I could tell any of them; it would be like giving me a one way ticket to Deaths Door."

"I think you might be exaggerating about that. What about Pansy? I thought you told her everything," Harry muttered, turning back to Draco.

"It's not an exaggeration, plain truth and I couldn't tell Pansy because…I don't know, I don't know how she would take it. She gets…I don't know, upset? And if I were to tell her that you and I were now friends, I don't know what she would do."

"Upset?"

Draco nodded. "She thinks, and I guess I do to a certain degree, that we will be there for each other until the day we die, literally. Her parents wish for her to marry me and I doubt my father will have any real objections. Her family is well thought of; both her parents are death eaters…nothing to stop us. If I were to tell her about you she would…feel threatened I guess." He shrugged. "So, I'm not going to tell anyone, unless they find out. Then I shall lie, say you have been following me, you are hopelessly in love with me, and that its all a plan I set up to give you to big old Voldie. Sound good?" He gave Harry a quick grin and stood up. "I better get back; people will start to wonder where I am. They get a bit lost without their wonderful leader."

Harry gave him a quick smile. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." Draco murmured, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

The two boys looked at each other for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say.

"Well, see you then." Draco finally said and started to walk back to Hogwarts Castle.

Harry watched Draco walk away from him. It truly amazed Harry how well they were getting on, even though Harry felt Draco was keeping something from him, and Harry wasn't sure if Draco would ever tell him what it was. When Draco had talked about Pansy and him getting married, Harry had felt a surge of jealousy go through his body. He wanted Draco in every way possible, but he knew he couldn't have him. Harry could tell Draco didn't feel the same way about him, but Harry was slowly starting to see the way that Draco worked. He joked about the things that truly scared him as it was the only way he felt he could express them. He still tried to keep Harry at a distance, but Harry was determined to knock down the barriers that Draco had put up around himself.

Harry stood up and walked slowly back to the castle. He hadn't seen or spoken to Ginny since he had confronted her in the Three Broomsticks. For some reason Ron was being off with him, but trying to act like he wasn't. This annoyed Harry, but at the same time he found that he didn't care as much as he once would have. Ron and Hermione were mixed up in their own world, and seemed to forgotten that Harry was still there. It didn't really bother him; he had known it would happen. Whenever he found himself alone he would seek out Draco, and the two of them would find a place where they knew they wouldn't be disturbed. He and Draco had talked about everything apart from the things that both of them feared. They weren't ready to approach a subject they knew they couldn't change.

Harry reached the Gryffindor common room and went to sit on a chair near a fire. He saw Ginny enter the room, followed by her friends. Ginny looked at him for a second and then turned away, muttered something to her friends and they all burst into hysterics. Harry shook his head and looked into the fire until he felt someone sit next to him.

"Hey, Harry" Hermione said quietly.

Harry looked at her; he could automatically see that she had been crying. "Hermione, what's wrong?"

Hermione gave him a shaky smile. "Nothing, it's nothing."

"Hermione, you've been crying. What's happened?"

Hermione gave a sudden loud sob and threw her arms around Harry's neck. "He's…such a stubborn…person," Harry heard through the sobs.

"Who? Ron?" He felt Hermione nod her head. "What's happened 'Mione?" He urged again.

Hermione pulled away from and wiped away the tears that were now flowing freely down her face, "He's just being a complete and utter idiot!"

"Come on, let's go for a walk," He stood up.

The two of them walked out of the common room with everyone's eyes on them. Harry made his way down to the lake where he had just been, as it was the only place he could think of where nobody would interrupt them.

They both sat down and stared across the lake. "I'm sorry Harry." Hermione said after a while.

"For what?" Harry played with some grass.

"I heard about what happened with you and Ginny…I mean, about her making it up. I should have talked to you about it. I should have been there for you, but I wasn't…I haven't been. I feel like…I don't know, like I've lost you."

"You haven't lost me, Hermione," He uttered quietly.

She turned towards him. "Yes, I have. I got too caught up with Ron, we haven't even been going out that long, but I guess, because I have liked him for so long…I just got so excited when he finally asked me out. Everything else just, I don't know. I just stopped thinking about it and focused on Ron. When really, you were the one that needed me the most," She sighed sadly and looked back across the lake. "He still doesn't believe Ginny would do something like that, even after what happened at the weekend with you and her."

"I understood you wanted to be with Ron, Hermione. You shouldn't feel bad, I didn't, and still don't mind. I guess I have always expected you two to get together, so it wasn't really a big deal when you did."

"Well, I don't think we are together anymore." Hermione bent her head, trying to stop the next set of tears that were starting to fall.

"Why? Come on, Hermione, you two are made for each other."

Hermione looked at him and took a deep breath. "He won't accept that Ginny would do that, he's in a mood with you because you accused her of doing it. I told him today to stop being so stupid, that he was going to lose you, that he was already half way there. That everyone saw you two having a fight in the Three Broomsticks. He refuses to think Ginny would be as vindictive as that. To be honest, neither did I. When I met up with Ron at Hogsmeade, he told me what you had said to him and I laughed it off, but then I started to think about it. I know how Ginny can hold a grudge, but I never thought she would ever make up that you were going out, and she is still sticking to that story. So, I stopped talking to her, and then Ron had a go at me about that, saying that I was taking sides. He said that I should side with what he thinks because I'm his girlfriend. I said, 'but what about Harry. He's our best friend.' Then Ron said Ginny was his family and you were being an idiot for even thinking that she could do it. That you just want a load of attention from people; he said it was your own fault for thinking to much into a rumor. So I yelled at him and said he couldn't see what was right in front of him and that he was stubborn and that he was going to lose everyone that he loves. And…and he said that if that was how I felt then why would I want to go out with such a stubborn git. So I said that…that he wasn't the person I thought he was and that it was over." She stopped and didn't bother to wipe the tears away.

Harry put his arm around her. "What a complete and utter idiot. I knew he was off with me. I'm the one that should be sorry, Hermione; I should have been there for you two, talked to Ron and asked what his problem was."

Hermione shook her head. "I feel like the three of us are drifting away from each other. I try to stop it but…" She sighed and put her head on Harry's shoulder. "I don't want to break up with him and Harry, I don't want to lose you. I hardly ever see you anymore, let alone talk to you. We should be getting closer together, not drifting apart. Especially with times as they are. I don't blame it on anyone, we just let it happen and now it's gotten even worse."

"Yeah, I guess we did just let it happen. I'm sorry that it did. Seriously though, Hermione, don't lose Ron. When you two are together, you are so happy, which rubs off on me."

Hermione lifted her head and gave him a quick smile. "He does make me amazingly happy, but not when he goes like this…he won't accept certain things and sometimes, it's so unbelievably hard to cope with. You know that, he's been like this since we met him, but he's always pulled through. This time though…I'm not too sure."

"He will, of course he will. He will know he was wrong and apologize to you."

Hermione shook her head, "He might know he was wrong but he won't apologize, he will act like it never happened. It would have hurt his pride to be proved so wrong. I don't know, I will try and talk to him, work it out."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, both looking across the lake, thinking what was in store for them. "So, what about you?" Hermione asked after a while, "Where have you been going to while I have been with Ron, I can never find you."

"Oh…nowhere, just here and there." Harry said, looking away from her so she couldn't see his face.

"Come on, Harry; please don't keep secrets from me."

Harry let out a small sigh and turned back to face her, "I've been talking to Draco."

Hermione pulled away from him and searched his face for any signs of a joke. "Malfoy?" Harry nodded. "But…you hate each other…he's a son of a death eater…following in his fathers footsteps…you hate each other." She ended feebly.

Harry shrugged, "Things change."

"That may be, but this is a huge change. Maybe he's got a plan…"

"A plan to do what Hermione? Befriend me, lead me to Voldemort and then Voldemort will kill me. Think about it Hermione, its Draco Malfoy…even he wouldn't be able to do that. It would disgust him to pretend to be friends with me. He's changed."

"Can you trust him?" She asked quietly.

"Yes." He said shortly.

"Then I will trust in the fact that you believe this won't end bad."

He looked at her, surprise written all over his face, "You don't mind?"

Hermione linked her arm through Harry's, "Well, I wouldn't say I am exactly ecstatic about it. You are a big boy now, Harry. You can be friends with who you want. I think it is good you have grown out of the childish fights that you and him were constantly having. I just want you to know that I don't think I will ever fully trust him, even if you do. If it wasn't for his family…then maybe, but families like that have such big influences over their children. You never know what will be told to him or done to him when he is at home. However, if this is what you want then I will stand by you. Although, I don't think Ron will have the same opinions as me. You know what he is like…"

Harry nodded his head and gave her a huge smile. "You are amazing, Hermione, did you know that?"

**Draco**

Draco walked slowly back to the Slytherin common room. It amazed him how easily he could read Harry now, even when Harry was trying his best not to show it. He had seen the flicker of shock go over Harry's face when he had said he was probably going to marry Pansy. He put it down to the fact that Harry hadn't even thought of his future plans in that aspect.

He was about to go straight to his room when he heard someone call his name. He turned around and saw Pansy and Blaise sitting by the fire. He moved over to them and sat down, wondering what they were talking about.

"Draco, where have you been?" Pansy inquired, trying to make it look like she didn't care.

"I went for a walk." Draco replied, sitting back in his chair and studying the look on Blaise's face. "Well, what has happened?" He motioned towards Blaise to answer.

"Nothing. Why do you think something has happened?"

Draco raised his eyebrow at them. "I've known you for all my life Blaise; I know when you are trying not to say something. Tell me."

Blaise gave a sigh of exasperation. "Just ask him, Blaise." Pansy said, giving him a nudge.

Blaise gave her a look and then looked back at Draco. "We were just wondering…that, well…we think…"

"Spit it out, Blaise." Draco said, rolling his eyes.

"We just want to know where you keep disappearing to." Pansy cut in, giving Blaise a quick glare.

"Can I ask why you think that would be any of your business?"

"Because we're your friends Draco," Pansy stated.

"And, because if it's to do with the Dark Lord, we have a right to know." Blaise added.

"You have a right to know?" Draco sneered at them. "If, I was doing something for the Dark Lord, what makes you think I would tell you two?"

"So you aren't doing something for him?" Pansy ventured.

Draco shook his head at her. "No. I'm not. Now, if you are done with this little 'investigation' I would really like to go to bed."

"Where have you been going then?" Blaise probed, "If you aren't doing something important."

Draco looked at him for a minute, "Maybe it is important."

"Then why won't you tell us!" Blaise hissed angrily, "I would tell you!"

"Then that would be your first mistake. I wouldn't tell you, Zabini, because, to be honest with you, I don't trust you. You would run off and tell your father. Maybe they are some of the reasons you have yet to be invited to a meeting? As I said, I am not actually doing anything for the Dark Lord, it just so happens that I like to get away from you for a while." He stood up and walked over to Blaise. "You need to be careful what you do and say Blaise. Your father is not as well thought of as he once was…or so I've heard." He whispered into his ear. He gave a nod to Pansy and walked up to his bedroom.

He went over to his bed and lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He knew he couldn't tell Blaise or Pansy that he was hanging around with Harry Potter, let alone let them know that he was falling in love with them. He rolled over onto his side and stared at the wall. He could see that things were happening that were out of his control. Blaise was constantly getting letters from his father, but Draco had still heard nothing, from either of his parents. He was used to getting letters from his mother every week but he hadn't had one since the beginning of the term.

His mother was the only person that had ever cared for him. She had acted as a real mother to him, unlike his father who only paid him attention to teach him the Dark Arts. Draco turned onto his back again and closed his eyes. He listened as his friends came into the room and got ready for bed. Eventually he fell asleep, but his dreams were filled with screams and dying green eyes, pleading for his help.

The next morning Draco went down to breakfast on his own, but Pansy quickly caught up with him.

"Hey, Draco" Pansy said, giving him a timid smile as she sat down next to him.

"Morning." He replied and looked towards the doors as Harry and Hermione entered. He noticed that Ron was nowhere to be seen and wondered what had happened for Harry to be spending time just with Hermione. He saw Harry give him a nod and a quick smile, and was surprised when Hermione gave him a shy smile as well.

Draco was about to get Harry's attention when he was distracted by an owl soaring directly towards him. The owl stuck out his leg when it landed on the table in front him. Draco leaned forward and slowly took the letter out. He recognized the writing immediately and a sense of calm went through him.

_My Darling Draco,_

_I am sorry that I have not written for quite a while. There are many reasons for this, none of which I can say in this letter. _

_As I am sure, you will have been hearing things from your friends concerning certain matters. I must also say here that there is a reason why your father hasn't written to you telling you what is happening and unfortunately this is yet another thing I can not explain to you. _

_Draco, you must listen to me. You can not come home for Christmas. Promise me son, promise me you will stay at Hogwarts. Your father will soon write to you, asking you to come home, but you must refuse. _

_I know that your father wrote to you a while ago, telling you the…great news. It is a privilege, but it is a privilege I do not wish for my son to go through. _

_I miss you with all my heart and I love you. I shall see you soon, but you must stay at Hogwarts for Christmas__ my darling. _

_Narcissa Malfoy. _

Draco read the letter through and looked up at the owl that seemed to be expecting a reply. He got out some parchment and scribbled his promise to his mother. He attached it to the owl and watched as the owl made its way out of Hogwarts.

"Draco, who was your letter from?" He heard Pansy ask him.

"My mother." He replied, still looking in the direction the owl had just gone.

"Did she say anything interesting?"

"That really is none of your business, Pansy," He snapped at her. He stood up quickly and saw Pansy making a move to join him. "Stay here Pansy; you don't have to follow me everywhere." He stuffed the letter into his pocket and strolled quickly out of the Great Hall. He found an empty classroom and walked in. He sank onto the floor and pulled his knees up. _My mother is warning me about something, something is meant to be happening this Christmas holidays that she doesn't want me to see, no that she doesn't want me to participate in? The letter from my father…she mentioned that…_He looked up quickly when he heard the door of the classroom open quietly.

"Draco, are you in here?" A voice whispered.

Draco peered over the desks and saw Harry standing in the doorway. "Yes." He whispered back, his throat sore with trying not to cry.

"Are you ok?" Harry asked, moving over to him slowly.

"Great, thanks." Draco muttered, "Why are you here?"

Harry sat down next to him and looked at him. "I saw you get a letter…the colour practically drained out of your face when you read it. Then, you just got up and walked out of there. So I figured you needed someone to talk to, so I followed you."

Draco just nodded his head, "You didn't need to."

"You're my friend, Draco, it's what friends do."

"Thank you," Draco said, looking back down at his knees and pulling the letter out of his pocket. "It's from my mother." He stated, looking at it.

"Is your mother really that scary?" Harry joked.

"No." He whispered, his voice catching in his throat, "She says I can't go home for Christmas…I had to promise her." He looked towards Harry; his eyes glistening with tears he was hoping weren't going to fall. Draco watched as concern filled Harry's eyes. _He really cares for me. _Draco suddenly realized.

"Is something happening?" Harry asked quietly. Draco just shrugged his shoulders in response, "Can I have a look at the letter?"

Draco nodded and passed him the letter, watching Harry's face as he read it.

"What's the privilege Draco?" Harry whispered and Draco could tell that he was scared to hear the answer.

"To be a Death Eater: the youngest to be exact."

"Did you accept?"

"My father did for me. I have no say in the matter."

"Yes you do, if you don't want to…then…you can get out of it…go to Dumbledore, he will protect you…" Harry started to say.

"No." Draco interrupted. "I will not go to him. Harry, I knew this day would come ever since I was old enough to understand such things. I've been expecting it." He stopped and looked over the letter again. "My mother knows that if I go home this Christmas then it will happen. She is scared for me," He paused. "I'm scared for me." He whispered and looked over towards a window.

"Surely there is something you can do!"

Draco gave him a sympathetic look. "I've gotten use to the idea Harry. I once would have been happy at this you know. In fact, I would have been ecstatic. I would be rubbing it in Blaise's face. You know, when I was younger, I wanted to be exactly like my father, even after everything he put me through…Then I came here and met you. He told me to make friends with you that it would be of great use…so I tried, but you rejected me, so I turned to hating you, but the thing was…you were so similar to me. I could see it, even on that day I first saw you. You didn't understand what you had to do, what your part was in all this."

"Well, I had only just found out about the wizarding world, what do you expect?" Harry muttered.

"That might have been, but you didn't and neither did I. Then you did what you did in your first year…and then the second year…I had always heard what my father said about you, that it was pure luck that you weren't killed. I believed him; I believed everything he told me. But, yet again, you proved me wrong because you kept doing all of these things, saving all these people over and over again. It wasn't pure luck, you have something…And then, in the fourth year you came out clutching Cedric's body and something changed in you. I could see it; I could see that you needed somebody to understand you, to help you. That's what I needed, but I was scared of doing anything so I continued to pick on you. I was still trying to make my father proud of me. Not that it ever worked. Then, fifth year…when I heard about what happened in the ministry I knew you wouldn't be the same person. I saw it, you know? The first day of this year, I saw you in the Great Hall, laughing and eating with your friends. I looked at you and you looked at me, and your eyes…they were dull. All I could see in them was pain and suffering. I was so use to seeing them so bright but everything had left them, leaving this…hole. I remember last summer. My father was in Azkaban and I was truly free. My mother told me that she feared what was going to happen, that she didn't want her only son to go the way her husband had. That's when I truly started thinking that what I had been taught my whole life was wrong. I didn't want that life, I don't want it, but I have to Harry. I don't have the freedom of going to Dumbledore, and having him protect me. I would be killed instantly; you don't understand how easily things can get back to him. I don't want to die. I want to live like a normal child does, without the pressure of knowing that you have to go out and kill people you went to school with," He stopped suddenly and stared at Harry, "I can't kill these people Harry." He finally felt the tears starting to flow down his face and he turned away from Harry, embarrassed at Harry seeing him this way. He felt Harry put a hand on to his shoulder and twist him round to face him.

"I won't let anyone hurt you Draco." Harry whispered, and as Draco sat there looking at Harry; he knew he would be safe.


End file.
